I love changing my hairstyle. Since going natural in 2006, I’ve embraced a variety of different hairstyles: long, straight, curly, kinky, locs, and twists.  I recently decided to stop straightening my hair. I have to admit: initially, I was hesitant about the decision. Would men be attracted to natural locs and an afro? After much contemplation, I’ve come the conclusion that type of man who are attracted to me with natural locs are completely different from the men who are attracted to me with long straight hair. Bottom line is this: if a guy won’t approach me because he doesn’t like my natural hair, well, he’s not my type.

What better way for me to convey that difference to you than to let you read a script of me conversing with a Natural Hair Lover (NHL) and a Permed Hair Lover (PHL). The difference is quite evident. Enjoy and please have a sense of humor 🙂

NHL is rockin a Angela Davis tee, with an arm band that resembles the colors of Ghana’s flag – yellow, red, green, and black. His hair in long locs, that reach the mid-part of his back.  He meets me at my Spoken Word Night at one of my favorite spots in Richmond, VA called Tropical Soul.

NHL: Is this seat taken, my Beautiful Black Sista?

Me: Sure. There’s no one sitting there.

NHL: I have to tell you, my African Queen, I love my sistas sportin their natural hair (puts his “Angela Davis” fist in the air) All these years, the White Man has been trying to get you to hate yourself – that your hair ain’t beautiful. But let me tell you, my Beautiful Black Queen, you are beautiful. Your hair is beautiful. Don’t ever change it.

Me: Thank you. (Returns the fist love.)

NHL: So, my Beautiful Black Queen, what brings you to Tropical Soul this evening?

Me: Well, I love poetry and spoken word. You can find me here every Tuesday night. How about you?

NHL: I come sometimes. These are some positive Black folks. Too many White people trying to keep the Black man down. Too many. I’m just trying to be positive.

Me: Yes. Trying to look for the show. So what are you planning for the holidays?

NHL: I’m a part of the African Revolution’s Party. I don’t celebrate the White man’s holidays.  Christmas with that White Santa. Why can’t Santa be a Black Man?

Me: Gee, well that’s great sir. It was nice meeting you.

Permed Hair Lover (PHL) walks into Tropical Soul with an entourage of 5 other females swinging their long straight hair. They look like they just step off a set of a rap music video. He has his shades on, and displays a swagger like no other. We meet at Tropical Soul for Poetry and Spoken Word Night when he sits at my table.

Me: Hi, I’m Jessica and you are?

PHL: I’m Antoine. (Looks away)

Me: So you come here often?

PHL: Not really. She (points to the girl with the longest hair among his groupies) invited me this evening. Not crazy about being in places like this; I’d rather be hanging out in my mansion in Beverly Hills.

Me: That’s great. (Unimpressed by his boastfulness)

PHL: And one of my girls, she gave me this expensive watch for my birthday. I’m a balla. Haha.

Me: Wow.

PHL: Yeah, you know. Everyone wanna be like me or with me. So tell me what’s up with your hair?

Me: What do you mean?

PHL: (Touches my hair and snickers). You know this whole Angela Davis get up. Why don’t you just get a perm. You’d prettier if you did that.

Me: You mean straighten my hair like them? (Pointing to the his groupies.)

PHL: (Smiles.) Yes.