OK, men, I get it. Her beauty puts you at a loss for words. Her presence may even put you on edge: you stutter when you’re suppose to talk smoothly. You stare when you’re supposed to smile cooly. You offer a girly giggle when you’re suppose to flash one of your mysterious smirks.  You are nervous when that beautiful woman crosses your path. But why does that anxiety make a woman regret giving you a millisecond of their time? Let me explain.

I am a single woman, who frequents many a social events around the Atlanta area. Some men approach me; other times I approach men. Sometimes we hit it off; other times we don’t. But recent events have forced me to believe that some men are adhering to the guidelines on how to approach a woman from a bad play boy manual. Their pick-up lines are not only awful, but they are also insulting. On three separate occasions with three different men; I have heard the same pick up line. It makes me cringe each time I hear it.

SCENARIO #1

I am dancing at a wedding reception when a friend of the groom approaches me and asks me to dance. We are dancing together on the floor and he asks me the typical questions men ask when they first meet you. He wants to know where I live, where I’m from, and where I attended school. He mentions that I am sweet. I smile; I thank him for his compliment. Then, he says something that catches me by surprise.

You look very sweet and innocent, especially with those glasses. I feel like I could take advantage of you.

Say what?!?

I am confused. I excuse myself, offering some excuse that is  too outlandish for even me to believe and leave him standing solo on the dance floor. Any man that wants to take advantage of me cannot be someone I want to spend time getting to know.

SCENARIO #2

I’m attending a networking event in downtown Atlanta.  I am dressed in a business suit, pumps, and pearls, when I see this very attractive man standing across the room. We make eye contact and he approaches me. We talk for a moment until his gregarious and equally attractive friend joins the conversation.

The man, his friend, and I converse for a few minutes about our careers – theirs in investment banking and mine in public health. The conversation shifts and the man’s friend asks me if I am dating someone. I tell that I am single and he says:

You look very sweet and innocent, especially with those glasses. I feel like I could take advantage of you. 

Excuse me?

Okay, now I’m getting a bit annoyed. I become silent throughout the rest of our conversation. I am looking for a polite way to escape, but the next line out of his mouth makes me want to make an immediate exit from the men’s presence. The man and his friend tell me about their former girlfriends who are 7 years younger than them. They admit to liking her because she made it easy for them to “have their way with her.”

At this point, I have had enough and dismiss myself from the conversation and walk away. What a sleezeball, I think to myself.

But that’s not all.

SCENARIO #3

A few months ago, my girls and I went out for dinner and dancing. A man approached me while I was on the dance floor with the girls. I could tell he had a bit to drink, but that fact did not prepare me for what he said when he walked over to me.

You look very sweet and innocent, especially with those glasses. I feel like I could take advantage of you. 

By this point, I am pissed. I don’t show it. I smile, take his number, and when he invited me out to dinner with him, I extended his invitation to 6 of my girl friends. There is nothing more romantic than a candlelight dinner for 8 people.