He Pays/She Pays: A Recovering Independent Woman’s View on Going 50/50

When he said he wanted to go 50/50, I knew that this would be the last time I’d ever see him again. – A Girl Friend

If she had said this to me two years ago, I would not have hesitated to challenge her with an eloquent argument about how going 50/50 is the best way to handle dating and relationships in general. In those days, I believed that Independent Woman should rise together and send men the message that we don’t need them. We can take care of ourselves. Slowly, I am recovering from this wayward way of thinking, so when she uttered these words, I simply nodded in agreement.

Like anything else in my life, I had to undergo a few tough experiences before I transformed my way of thinking. Although there may have been dozens of other situations that may occurred in my life that helped me re-evaluate whether to go dutch, these three scenarios listed below are the ones that are most memorable.

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Where He Took Me For Our First Date (A Restaurant Review)

Mimosas, Biscuits & Jam
Mimosa, Biscuits & Jam

Two weeks ago, I solicited your advice about which restaurant to choose for my first date with a guy. After much contemplation, I decided to go with a restaurant in the Low-Key-Yet-Nice-Vibes category. I selected Park’s Edge for brunch on a Saturday afternoon.

He picked me up at 12:30pm and we arrived at Park’s Edge at around 1:30pm. Yelp reviews advised that a reservation should be made for brunch on Saturday and Sundays, as they tend to get quite busy on the weekends, so a reservation was made for 1:30.

We arrived on time and surprised ourselves at how successful we were at finding street parking at a building that offered limited parking options. Park’s Edge is located in a residential area, which makes it difficult to find. Fortunately, management noticed this fact and are in the process of relocating to a new location. Read More »

The “F-Word”

I know what you’re thinking. And it’s not that F-word. Failure comes to greet when we least expect it, leaving us to feel insecure, incapable, and sometimes depressed. I am learning that isn’t always a bad thing. We learn perseverance when we fail; our weaknesses are strengthened in our failure. Failure will always lead to success. The article below highlights some of the most successful people’s failures in their 20’s.



Yaa Yaa

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Stuff Not To Say To Your Single 30-Something Friend

I wanted to jump, spin, do my church dance and yell “HALLELUJAH” when I read this post last night. The writer’s remarks about the ridiculous remarks people make to single people is on point. I’m not in my 30’s yet, but the article below still applies.

Next time I am asked a question like “How is your love life?,” from an unfamiliar married person, I will reply, “How’s the married life treating you?” And a question like, “Why are you still single?” will receive a response like, “Why are you married?”

Happy Reading!


For The Man Who Says He’s Not Intimidated (Part 1)

We met while I was a graduate school student in Boston. He was an employee in the library I frequented. He’d restock bookshelves and monitor the computer lab while I studied for exams and completed school projects. Coincidentally, our schedule were similar so we would see each other in the library  often.

During my study breaks, I’d strike up a conversation with him. He was a Boston native, who was pursuing a career in the entertainment industry. When he wasn’t working in the library, he was exercising, preparing for gigs, or taking care of his three younger brothers and sisters. He was an attractive guy: the type of guy that made you do a double take when you saw him walking down the street. In nicely tailored suits and trousers, one would think he’d just step out of a GQ Magazine. A career in acting was very promising for him, for he was also talented. I was impressed by him and wanted to get to know him better.

What was a bit of a turn-off for me, however, was his constant reminder of how smart I was. “You have like 5 degrees,” he’d often tell me, “You’re like super-smart. Not like me. I am still working on my GED.” The fact that he was not a public health student was one of the reasons I was initially attracted to him. My days in graduate school were already filled with discussions on correlations, epidemiological studies, and cultural competency, so a short break from these discussions were welcomed and appreciated, and that’s what he provided.Read More »

What Not To Say To A 20-Something

Have you ever been asked an offensive question? You reserved judgment on the person because you knew that it was not their intention to hurt you. In response to the question, did you mutter something under your breath and change the subject? Or did you simply look at them as though they had grown a third eyeball and walk away?

We have all been asked a question like this before and for us 20-somethings, we are not immune to such questions. In fact, I believe we are on the receiving end of these questions more than others. Here are a list of questions and comments that make me cringe each time I hear it. Read More »

This Is My Party And I Will Cry If I Want To

A few months ago, I threw a party for myself. This party, however, was a bit different from my other parties.  There was no mass e-mail sent to my 895 contacts. There was no Facebook promotion. I did not even send a text to friends and family requesting that they show up. In fact, this party was a party of one. And I liked it that way.

This party included myself, my laptop, and my thoughts. At this party, I reflected on my career goals and personal goals. I thought about where I thought I would be at my age and where I actually am. I thought about all the things that have gone against my plan.  I thought about the broken hearts, the rejection letters, the disappointments, and the setbacks.

And I did what I hadn’t done in a long time. I cried.Read More »

FAQ’s About Me

In honor of my 2nd year anniversary, I’ll share with you my responses to common questions that I receive from readers. Feel free to ask me other questions. I will be adding to this list.

How did you get the nickname “Yaa Yaa?”

My father is Ghanaian. In Ghana, babies are named for the day of the week s/he were born. Girls born on Thursdays are called “Yaa.” Yaa Yaa is what my family and close friends call me, as a term of endearment.

Why did you start this blog?

Writing is my therapy. I have been writing stories, poems, stories, and chronicling my life events and thoughts in a journal since I was 8 years old. I tend to be pretty honest in my writing so I used to keep my writing to myself. I didn’t want people to know me up close and personal. I’ve been told by many people that I am a gifted writer, so I thought why not share it with the world? For the past 7 years, I struggled with my decision to start a blog or not. Then, in August 2011, I thought to myself, “What the heck? I’m not working. Might as well throw caution to the wind and give this thing a try.” The rest is history.

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When She Lowered Her Standards

I’m tired of you playing these word games. Either you come over my house this evening, or I’ll call someone else to come over. The choice is yours. – A Boy

When I heard him say these words, I became both shocked and disgusted.  He couldn’t possibly mean what he was saying was my initial reaction and after that, I was disgusted. Disgusted for two reasons:

  1. Apparently this boy had lost his mind. Did he just give me an ultimatum? I don’t need you in my life. I’m good.
  2. Although his statement appeared a bit arrogant, he was right. There is another woman somewhere in the city of Atlanta who will happily bring her happy behind to his place at the drop of a hat.Read More »

Where Should He Take Me On Our First Date?

I have never been a huge fan of casual dating, but as my twenties come to an end, I’ve started to realize that I should embrace the single ride while it lasts.  I am quite sure that one day – when I am married with kids – I’ll want to return to my carefree days, where flirting was my pastime and dating was my sport.

So here I am – preparing for yet another first date with a guy who was introduced to me by a mutual friend. He’s new to the Atlanta area and since I have been a member of the Yelp Elite for the past three years, it is only fitting that I choose the restaurant.  Initially, I was happy that he asked me to choose; but given the fact that there are over 3,000 restaurants in the Atlanta area, choosing one can be a bit daunting.Read More »