On Being Too “Picky”

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My close friends will tell you; some of my ex-boyfriends will tell you; my admirers will tell you; acquaintances will tell you; co-workers will tell you that they believe I am too “picky” about who I date.

I don’t believe I am picky. Pickiness describes people who only want a man who is 6 feet tall, dark-skinned, and a football player. They are known for dumping a man because “he was nice, but he wasn’t tall enough” or they realized that their right dimple is deeper than their left dimple and that just “freaked them out,” or their feet were too big for their lanky body. They will cite superficial reasons for dumping someone that has nothing to do with the potential partner’s character or lifestyle. In the future, none of these physical attributes will impact his lover.

I approach dating like a major decision. I use careful thought, allowing time, and circumstances to fully reveal the character of the person I’m dating. I also rely heavily on my intuition. Believe it or not, character is my main concern. My two most important questions are:

Is he a person of integrity?

Does he make me a better person?

These questions appear simple, but you’d be surprised by how many men lack these simple traits. You’d also be surprised (or maybe not) by how many men will bring out the worst in you. They can also make your life worse than what it should be. In fact, you read the stories on my blog, what is your verdict? Character traits like honesty, integrity, patience, loyalty and selflessness are hard to find.

Given this, I still receive comments like, “Yaa, he doesn’t have to be perfect.” To which I reply, “I never said he had to be perfect. I am far from perfect, so why would I believe that I’m going to find someone who is?”

Anyway, you call it whatever you want: high standards, pickiness, craziness, or stupidity. Be my guest. I know my worth. know what I deserve. I am willing to wait for what I deserve.

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2 thoughts on “On Being Too “Picky”

  1. I agree. Those traits will make our break your relationship. Sometimes it takes a while to determine them, men can be so macho that they hide there true self from you until they KNOW your the real deal. Dating can be so tricky. Watch their actions not words!! Good luck Yaa Yaa!!!


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