Month: September 2013

Celebrate You

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Man Surprising Woman with GiftI was once involved with a man who did not understand why I made such a huge fuss about my birthday. “It’s just another day,” he’d say to me, as I’d look for the perfect restaurant to hold a dinner party; the perfect dress to wear at the perfect dinner party; and the accessories to complement perfection.

As my special day drew closer, I’d say to him, “What are you getting me for my birthday?” He’d never respond, but somehow, I managed to convince myself that he’d do something special for me on my birthday.  Three years is how long we had known each other and I knew that the length of time that I had known him guaranteed that I would receive a birthday present from him. On my day of birth, he sent me a Skype message that read, “Happy Birthday.” I did not respond. Birthday wishes brought to me via Skype instant messenger could not be my birthday present. He knows how much I appreciate phone calls from my friends. And he was my best friend.Read More »

12 Things To Love About Me

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My Abuser Part IILife has a way of wearing us down. The deadlines, priorities, setbacks, and obligations can all take a toll on  us, leaving us mentally and physically drained. After a breakup with the man in your dreams, the loss of a job, or an unpleasant situation, you may believe there is something wrong you, for why would you keep attracting negative outcomes? The most important lesson that I’ve learned in my late 20’s is to guard my thoughts. Make sure that only positive thoughts are dwelled upon and negative thoughts are deleted immediately.

Negative thoughts is something I struggle with daily. For that reason, I have created various activities to help build my self-esteem and improve my thinking. It’s not often that I dwell on my positive attributes, so that’s why I’ve developed an exercise that would help me reinforce my positive characteristics. Dwelling on my positive attributes will magnify those attributes and isn’t that what we all want?

I’ve created a list of my favorite attributes. I started it earlier this year and have been adding to it as time passes by. Here’s what I love about me:

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Hustle While You Work

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  • woman-money-imageI edit academic papers, blogs, and  other miscellaneous documents.
  • I plan special events.
  • I am a program manager, grant-writer, funding-seeker for various organizations in the field of public health.
  • I am a research specialist, administrative coordinator, and hospitality worker.
  • And most importantly, I blog at Scribbles & Tostitos Blog.

My job description has not always been this diverse; but, after being let go from a job unexpectedly a few years ago, I’ve learned to master the art of hustling. I hustle; I work. I work, while I hustle.

Like most US citizens, I relied on one job to meet my every need. Out of the blue one Thursday in May, I was called into a boardroom and told, “I’m sorry, Yaa, but we have to let you go.” Read More »

5 Ways You’re Accidentally Making People Hate You

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I carry boxing gloves in the trunk of my car. It scares people, but I try to reassure them that they should not be scared. My boxing gloves protect them from me.

I suffer from a case of passive-aggressiveness. Kickboxing is my form of therapy. Whenever I feel a bit tense, I grab my boxing gloves and release my tension on an inanimate object — such as a bag or a wall — instead of a person. I never questioned it; I just thought I was extremely sensitive until I read this article below. Now, I understand the cause for my passive-aggressive tendencies.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-accidentally-making-everyone-hate-you/

Why Self-Love?

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“Self-love?” my male cousin asked, “I know a lot of women who love themselves.”

“I know a lot of women who don’t.” I challenged.

Poor self-esteem is one of the root causes of relationship problems for both men and women. Women, in constant search for validation, will look for a man who will tell her she is beautiful; she is valuable; and she is desirable. The sad part is that once she is receiving these intangibles from a man, it is difficult for her to see clearly. Although the man may be interested in her, she may be oblivious to the fact that he is emotionally unavailable. Perhaps, he may already be in a relationship or unable to commit for various reasons.

A co-worker once told me that I was a nice girl, but I was a lot of work. He’d rather date a woman who was little maintenance. If I’m over here telling a man that he has to pull his pants up, treat me with some respect, and wait for me. If I insist that he has his stuff together before he approaches me, there’s another woman somewhere who doesn’t demand it.

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On My International Playlist

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“Yaa, can you make me a playlist of your African music, please?”

“The music on your alarm clock; I love it. Please send it to me.”

“I heard that track on your iPod yesterday. Kinda unique. Play that for me again”

I receive comments like this on a daily basis now. My love for international music is no longer a secret. I listen to music from Africa, Haiti, and Jamaica more than I listen to music from American artists. I prefer an international clubbing scene more than a hip hop one. I have an eclectic taste in music. Some of these tracks are old, while some of these tracks are a recent. See my playlist below:

Watch My Ting Go by Lola Rae

Try to sit still when this beat drops. I bet you it cannot be done. My Ghanaian sister has a lot of potential to take over the international pop music scene. I cannot see what’s next in her future.

Yes/No by Banky W

Released in 2012, I am sorry that I am only discovering this track and this Nigerian artist one year later! The lyrics are relevant, the dance routine is on-point, Banky is sexy, and the beat is catchy. I’m hooked. This song has been on repeat for three weeks now. I have no plans of removing it from my playlist.

Kilon Poppin by Ms. Jaie

They call her the African Beyoncé. With catchy dance beats and killer dance moves, they may be onto something here…

Carry Me by Carimi

My Haitian friend posted this song on her wedding website and that was my official introduction to the Haitian band, Carimi. She gave me their 2009 album Buzz, and I have been a fan ever since. This track is almost 5 years old, but it still gets my hips swaying.


Vibes Cyah Done by Machel Montano

Released in 2011, I discovered this song during Atlanta CaribFest in May this year. My cousin is heavily resolved in the party-planning and entertainment detail for the three-day, so I frequented many a parties. Whenever the DJ dropped this track, everyone in the arena started dancing. I love songs that have that effect on the crowd.

For The Man Who Says He’s Not Intimidated (Part 2)

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I really hate when women say guys are intimidated because none are. What we are at times is deeply overawed & impressed by your degrees, attitude, classiness, and achievements. What we are at times is fearful that you’ll be the stereotypical feminist/ I cant wait to out perform a man…as if there was a competition. What we really fear is that while you’ve accomplished things like good credit, career, degrees, and a home that you’ll still miserably fail to respect me as a man.

– Male S&T Reader

 

For The Man Who Says He’s Not Intimidated (Part I) inspired an incredible discussion in my comment section. Thank you to all those who commented. I have not forgotten you. In fact, my plan is respond to your comments when I can.

Now on to the purpose of Part 2. I wanted to discuss this in Part 1, but I did not want to elongate the post or depart from my initial message.

What I failed to tell you is that one year following the guy and my last date, he sent me a text message. We hadn’t been in contact previously, so it was a bit of a surprise for me to hear from him. The first text was pretty simple; he just wanted to know how I was doing. But the second text, where he told me how he was doing, put a smile to my face. It read:Read More »

A Funny Double-Blind Date Story

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“Yaa, get dressed and be at my place in an hour. We’re going on a blind double date.”

My homegirl lived 45 minutes away, so I barely had enough time to get dolled up. I grabbed my red overnight suitcase in my closet, threw my cutest clothes in it, brushed my hair, grabbed a toothbrush, and some perfume and ran out the door.

I was getting dressed at her place when my homegirl updated me on our dates, “They’re about 27 and I think they work in accounting and IT. My date and your date are best friends. I met my date on a social networking website, so I haven’t officially met him yet.”

I was excited and nervous at the same time. I knew that the evening would end up being a funny story. I climbed in my homegirl’s car and we drove to meet the guys at a restaurant about 5 minutes away. “Hurry, Yaa,” she said as we rushing out the door, “They’re already there.”Read More »

It’s A HardKnock Life For Bloggers

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Several hours, days, and sometimes weeks are invested in developing a blog post.  The days leading up to the day I click on the publish button are filled with both anxiety and excitement; anticipation and doubt; fearlessness and timidity. I look forward to Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, yet when it 6:00am strikes and its time to publish my posts, I hesitate for several moments, for I know that once I click the publish button the entire world will be aware of my innermost thoughts and experiences, opening me up to judgment and vulnerability.

Blogging regimens vary from blogger to blogger. Perhaps my blogging regimen will resonate with another blogger. Or maybe I’m that lone blogger who hyperventilates, deletes, and re-pastes her words on the dashboard like a mad woman 5 to 7 times before it enters  the blogosphere.

Anyway, here’s a behind-the-scenes look at my blog creations. It may fascinate you.Read More »