I was 9 years old when CrazySexyCool hit stores in 1995. For a little girl with aspirations of being a singer, TLC had a major influence on me. I’d watch MTV while singing their songs at the top of my lungs. One day during a sleepover with my closest friends, we dressed in baggy jeans and mid-drift revealing tops and sang and danced to “Creep.” I can’t believe that was almost 20 years ago.
CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story not only made me a bit nostalgic for the 90’s, when fashion was colorful; Left Eye were condoms on her eye; and wearing baggy jeans were sexy. But the movie also inspired me. The movie portrayed a story of how three young ladies blossomed into beautiful and strong women, who overcame numerous struggles. From Chilli’s relationship struggles, to Left Eye coping with her father’s death, to T-Boz’s determination to win her battle with Sickle Cell Anemia, I found something tender about each of the members that I could identify with. Read More »
I don’t know whether to nod in agreement or hang my head in shame whenever I read an article on how 20-somethings operate in the workplace. Our desire for flexible jobs, over-confidence in our ability to work in high-paying and powerful positions and our sense of entitlement have been talked about in many online news sources from Huffington Post to INC; from New York Times to CNN. I’m beginning to get a bit offended.
But before I do, I must admit I do see how my peers and I ruffle the feathers of our more seasoned, more polished, and much wiser and older counterparts.
Read A Gen-Xer’s Rant: What’s Wrong With My Millennial Employees?
Along with dozens of other qualities I desire in a lifetime partner, his potential to make money, his current income, his beliefs and money practices have been recently added to the list.
This is a huge deal to me, for I always endorsed the fantasy that all I needed is love in a relationship in order for it to work. Nowadays, I believe money plays a more important role in relationships than I ever thought it would. Money is necessary for the basic things we need: shelter, food, water, and clothing. If a woman is dating a man who doesn’t have money, guess who will be spending money each time they go out. That’s right, she will. So, a woman’s decision to date a man who doesn’t have money affects her pocketbook.
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As a first generation child born on the U.S. mainland, I pride myself on having a unique perspective of America and our global reputation. I’ll spare you on my soapbox (for now), but we’ll just say that my beliefs are quite different from other U.S. citizens. For that reason, I love talking to people who are new to America. I always attain some new insights whenever I hear a recent immigrant’s views on America.
I recently had the opportunity to interview a recent immigrant. He relocated here from Lagos, Nigeria, to attend graduate school. His first six months on U.S. soil was spent in San Francisco and the latter part of his first year were spent in Georgia. Here’s what he had to say about his time in America.
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VIP admission at the premier dance club in Abuja, Nigeria, mixing and mingling with Naija (Nigerian) celebrities, and posh 5-star hotels: I was living the good life.
The guy and I met through a mutual friend during my stay in Abuja. A socialite, he was pretty popular around town; held prestigious job title at a well-known company, and had that “it” factor that would attract any woman.
Time spent with him was always something to look forward to. He had a good sense of humor and a charming personality. I had only been in Abuja for 4 weeks but he was becoming a good friend.
Besides his personality, I enjoyed the fact that when we were together, I always had a good time. He granted me VIP admission in Abuja’s nightclubs, introduced me to local celebrities, and treated me to meals at the nicest restaurants in town.
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According to the life goals that I set for myself at the age of 16 years old, I am a drastic failure. I should be married with one child; have a PhD in clinical psychology; have my own mental health practice; make $85k per year; and drive a Mercedes-Benz.Read More »
I was sleep-deprived and exhausted, the morning after my prom, but when I saw that large Spelman blue envelope in the mailbox that held my acceptance letter into Spelma College, nothing else mattered.Read More »
A few weeks ago, friend of mine IMed me in a frantic. “Do you have a moment? I need to talk.”
I finished whatever I was doing and IMed her back, “I’m all ears. What’s up?”
I will be 29 next week. Can you believe it? She writes. I am nowhere near married!
My friend is a beautiful woman with a high-paying job in corporate America. She lives in a nice condo in the posh side of Atlanta and drives a luxurious vehicle that her father gave her as Christmas present when she relocated to Atlanta from Boston 3 years ago. She’s got it all – volunteers each Wednesday at a local school, travels each year to an exotic country, and is heavily involved in various professional associations in her field.
“My life is not going as I planned. My boyfriend and I broke up six months ago. I don’t think we’ll get back together. And even if I meet someone next week, I still won’t have enough time to plan a wedding and get married before next March.”
“I hear you. Marriage at 30 has been your dream and now, you don’t think it will happen.” I typed.
“Yes!” She wrote.
We IMed back and forth for the next hour and a half until she got called away from her desk and had to get back to work.
While I understood my friend’s sentiments, I did not feel as pressed about getting married by age 30 as she does. Sure she’s one year older than me. I may feel like her when I’m her age; but I doubt it. Here’s why:
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This link was a quick reminder that I do not have to do ANYTHING to attract a man. Being my beautifully amazing self is enough.
A Daddy’s Letter to his Little Girl