He yells at me. He tells me I am no good. He cheats on me. He says if something were to happen to me he wouldn’t even care or come to my funeral. But I don’t care. I love him. I am a good girl looking for a bad boy.
How I got here is probably what you’re wondering. I often reflect on that too. It wasn’t intentional. I had been single for a very long time. I had put on a couple pounds and because of that, I didn’t think a man would want me anymore. I started doubting myself, believing that I was fat and ugly.
Then one day as I was passing through the cafeteria at the college I was attending, I met the man of my dreams. He approached me, told me I was beautiful and gave me his number, saying that he had to return to his booth at the career fair my college was holding.
He was adventurous, loved to try new things. Like fate would have it, however, there was another man vying for my attention. He was not as handsome but treated me like a princess, whatever I needed he provided. I met him in middle school. We practically grew up together, but I’m not interested in him, although he treats me better than anyone has ever treated me before. He’s boring. I like some spice in my life.
I don’t know what happened between Mr. Adventurous and me, but he started behaving badly. Started staying out longer than usual without calling me back. Then, he started staying out all night. If that wasn’t enough, whenever I tried to hold him accountable for his behavior, he would accuse me of cheating. It was like my guy turned into a monster, and I have no idea why it happened.
Yesterday, I saw my old friend — the boring guy who treated me like a princess. Well, he’s married now. He has two beautiful daughters. I ran into him at the grocery store when I was visiting my sickly grandparents in my hometown. He told me about his life and how happy he was with his career and his wife. After I left him, I cried. I had an opportunity to be with him, but I passed him up for someone more “exciting.” Now, all I have to show for it is a broken an ego and relationship (because clearly one day he broke up with me out of the blue and never spoke to me again). When will I learn that the guy that I was looking for is usually staring me in the face?