In last week’s post, I discussed the challenges I’ve had losing weight in my 30’s. I gained 10 pounds in one year and when my belly was bulging from the cute outfit I had chosen to wear in my engagement photos, I decided to make a major change. I needed to be back to my normal size by August for my wedding. I encourage you to catch up here, if you haven’t already.
You’ve spent the entire day getting ready for a huge event. Your make-up is perfect. Hair’s on-fleek. Outfit’s snatched. You feel like a million bucks. You do your Naomi Campbell walk into the event. Strutting your stuff. You stop; grab your phone and take a selfie. You look at the photo to admire your beauty and what do you see?
A strange man in the background making a funny face in your picture. He just photo-bombed your selfie. Now, the photo you thought would embody your moment has now resulted in minutes of aggravation as you desperately crop the weirdo out of your image.
Source: Giphy
And that’s how I feel about my body.
I’m over here, kicking butt at life: meal planning, exercising, and getting my beauty rest and my body refuses to lose weight. It acts like it’s allergic to weight loss.
I used to be a nice size. I’m 5’2. When I met my husband five years ago, I was 27 years old and 126 pounds. That was my natural size. No gym or counting calories needed. I simply ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. And I’ve always been a potato, rice, bread and pasta lover, so I ate a lot of that.
On the rare occasions that I wanted to lose weight, I would put forth minimal effort: fast for a couple days or maybe follow a juice diet for 2 weeks. And BAM! I’m at my goal weight.
But those days are gone like audio cassette tapes.
My body started to change when I turned 30. That year was an eventful one. I relocated to North Carolina and enrolled in a graduate school program. My days were long and filled with studying, writing papers, and completing group projects. Snacks were my late night companion. Exercise and I grew further apart. I gained 10 pounds in one year.
I was the largest I had ever been. Clothes that I had been wearing since college couldn’t fit me anymore. Suddenly, I had a muffin top. To lose weight, I turned to my go-to smoothie diet. I lost 2 pounds in one week, but I was having weird indigestion issues.Issues I had never experienced before in all my years of crash dieting. I was forced to resume a normal diet, which for me, consisted of carbs and sugars. The indigestion went away, but the pounds – they returned immediately.
Source: Indigy.com
I didn’t have time to worry about losing weight though. I was focused on finding a new job. I was also on an unintended shopping spree. None of my old work clothes fit anymore.
My heart broke each time I tried on an article of clothing at the mall and it was too small. Forget finding clothes that were cute; I just wanted something that would hid my love handles!
I did not like what I saw in the full-length mirror anymore. My eyes had always been a source of insecurities, but not my body. My self-talk was terrible.
“If you’re unhappy, babe, why don’t you just lose weight?” My then fiance (now husband) asked.
It’s a novel idea.
But, I couldn’t do it.
It’s not because I didn’t want to. It’s because I didn’t know how. I was a foreigner in my new body. I didn’t know what it needed. What used to work (fasting, smoothie-and-Tostito diets, juice diets, etc.) no longer worked. Such diets would now result in debilitating headaches or weird indigestion issues.
Oh, and then there was exercise. I didn’t have money for a gym membership, so I relied workouts on YouTube, but I was miserable and unmotivated. When my alarm would sound in the mornings, I’d ask myself, What’s the point? And go back to sleep.
Source: Piceland.com
The last straw was on New Year’s Eve in 2016. My fiance and I were taking engagement photos. I had been shopping for the perfect outfit all week and my belly bulged from each of them. My wedding was 8 months away and I vowed that I was not going to walk down the aisle looking like the Pillsbury DoughGirl.
So, I had to change…
Stay tuned for Part II, where I discuss what I did and what I learned in my journey to lose weight for my wedding day. Oh, and follow me on Twitter @scribsandtosts. See you next Thursday!
A couple of weeks ago, I got some amazing news. I learned that I was nominated for the Liebster Award for New Blogs! Special thank you to my buddy, Paige of The Pages of Paige, for her sweet nomination. I am honored to accept this award!