HER: (Sigh) I am tired. I don’t think I’ll make it out to the club with the crew tonight.
ME: I hear you. I have to be at work at 8:00am tomorrow, and it is an hour commute to my job in traffic, so I probably won’t make it either. Plus, I don’t really like clubs.
HER: Yeah, me neither. I am getting old. I’m 45, but you’re young. You should go out.
ME: I went out a lot when I was in college. Now, I don’t really like hip-hop clubs. When I go out, I prefer to listen to reggae and African music.
HER: Well where do they play that kind of music at?
ME: Well, there are clubs around Atlanta. You just got to know where to go…
HER: Nevermind. I don’t like Africans anyway. They are too flashy and are too rough with women. I had a friend. She dated an African and he beat her. And he didn’t like for her to go out with her friends. He was very controlling.
ME: Well, I’d say there is someone like that from every country. Some Americans are like that too.
HER: And reggae music. It’s okay. But I don’t like West Indians.
ME: Why not?
HER: They come to America, take our jobs. They are the reason why I am not working right now.
ME: Oh yeah?
HER: Yeah.
ME: Yeah, well be careful about stereotyping. One of the things that I’ve learned is that every country is going to have their bad apples, but there are always plenty of more good apples.
HER: Honey, I think they’re all like that. I’ve been around. I know.
ME: I know too. My father is African and I have relatives that live in Ghana. My mother is West Indian and I have relatives that live in St. Thomas.
HER: (Shocked) Oh. Well, I didn’t mean…
ME: (Walks away)
Scribbles & Tostitos 
Wow that’s awful. Generalizing is one of my biggest pet peeves!
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Mine too. Many of us are guilty of stereotyping though.
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I was reading this thinking, “Does this woman realize who she is talking to?” In the words of one of our Spelman sisters, “Hmmm, Ignorance.”
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Haha! And notice how she tried to put me in my place by saying “I’ve been around, I know.” That was my favorite part.
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hahahahaha……its funny how little we know yet we think we know soo much.this lady obviously has it all wrong.this is definitely one of the things that is wrong with our world today.hmmm….
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I agree! I couldn’t have said it better myself, Risse.
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[…] StereoTrippin! […]
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Clap back season is in full effect 👏🏾😂 funny enough I’ve heard that same “African Warning” from others I’ve met but actually got a chance to hang out with young men from the motherland who were generous and sweet. It’s never cool to generalize and stereotype especially when you know how it feels personally. Love it.
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I couldn’t agree with you more! Let people be people. Enough with the stereotypes.
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Ouch. Knowing someone for so long then finding out they secretly hate some portion of you- even without their knowing- always sucks
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It totally sucks. This particular person was someone I met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Funny enough – our mutual friend was also from the Caribbean 😳
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Wow how are they that oblivious….
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Wooooooooooooowwwwwwwww. I can’t believe it’s 2018 and people like that still think talking like this is okay. I can’t believe it’s 2018 and people are still like that, period. I admire your restraint.
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Thank you. To be fair, this scenario happened in 2013. But I’m confident that there are people who think like this, unfortunately.
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Even so, 2013 is not that far back. That’s just ridiculous racist BS.
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😳😳😳 I like wanna comment, but I don’t know what to say 🤷🏾♀️
I’ll say this … don’t write her off, what she’s feeling towards ‘groups’ of people, is a reflection of her. She’s dealing with something more underlying than she’s able to articulate at the moment.
Be patient with her. Love her. In fact, how ironic that the two groups she talks about were in human form right before her eyes. YOU have already changed her perception of these two groups of people.
Bravo to you for being courageous enough to say, “I AM THEM.”
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Thank you, Mac, for saying that. We had a mutual friend in common, so I didn’t know her personally. And I haven’t seen her since this conversation. But, I think about her sometimes, and it’s not in a favorable way. I love your point about being patient with her, loving on her because she may have other underlying issues. We just never know what people are dealing with. Thanks for the reminder.
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Big Hugs
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Yesterday I was discussing a couple of cases in the news, with a friend. One of them involved the cake thing in Colorado with the same-sex couple, the other was about a 20-year old in Oregon who was refused his legal right to buy a gun because he was too young. The legal age there to buy a rifle is 18, but the company had changed its internal policy. We discussed it for a bit and his bottom line was that businesses should be able to refuse service to anyone, its their business. I told him that would be great in a perfect world, but it would open up the door for mass discrimination.
He told me that wouldn’t be a problem in today’s world.
I beg to differ; and so does your “friend.” 😕
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It’s sad. But it’s true.
Do you think there’s a way to enforce gun laws that prevent people under 21 from purchasing guns without promoting discrimination?
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Sure, but you’d have to make it an ordnance. It could be a local one, or a national one, if we think age is one of the problems. We have national drinking laws that prevent the sell of alcohol to anyone under 21. You have to be 16 to get a driver’s license. We could do the same with guns. What makes the case in Oregon a case of discrimination is that the law allows for rifle sales to people 18 or older, and the business is selling rifles but refusing to sell them to anyone 18, 19, or 20. That goes against the law.
We get in to sticky territory when we tell a private business that they can decide internal statutes that go against the prevailing law. What’s to stop a business, then, from selling alcohol only to married people over 25, or cars only to teens with both parents still living in the home?
We have to decide, as a society, what the best gun policy is for the society, and then have laws that dictate those policies. There are proven methods of gun control all around the world that show us the way, we just have to have the resolve to enact them.
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Okay so first the ” Well, there are clubs around Atlanta…” is that your way of saying you live in Atlanta? If so I’ll be down that way in May for my birthday and would LOVE to see you!!! If not just ignore all of that lolol
Because I’m working on being less on confrontational, I love how you just dropped the mic and walked off on her, even before you did that you dropped some knowledge on her. I’ve never been a fan of stereotypes. People are ignorant to things they don’t know about. I love how you handled it and her.
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Haha. I am from Atlanta. I grew up there. This post was written 5 years ago while I was living in ATL. I now live in NC. You’re coming to ATL in May?!?! That’s awesome! I’ll have to give you my number. I’m not sure if I’ll be in town but ya never know.
Thank you. I was pretty stunned. I tried to sway the conversation but she wasn’t catching my hints. Hopefully, I made an impression.
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Speechless. I felt myself getting angry reading this. But then I read Mac’s comment about loving her and being patient with her and I thought that is a great way to approach the situation especially when people expect us to respond the opposite way.
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Same here! You mention how I handled it well but I was too shocked to say anything. Isn’t Mac accurate with her assessment? It’s so true. We should love on people who are the most unloveable.
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