My Abuser

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No man will ever love or marry you. There is something wrong with you that’s why you’re STILL single. You’re not smart enough or pretty enough. Look at that stomach, you need to lose that gut. You don’t dress nice enough. Look at you… a hot mess. You don’t deserve to be happy. Your hair is ugly in its natural state; I don’t know why you don’t perm it. You’re not competent in the workplace that’s why haven’t landed your dream job. You’ll never achieve your goals.  You’re unintelligent, incompetent, and critical; I don’t know what your friends see in you.

My abuser hurls these insults at me constantly, morning, noon, and night.  The StrongBlackWoman in me attempts to combat these insults but the WeakBlackWoman in me succumbs. She believes these words.

My abuser is with me 24 hours each day and 7 days each week, never takes a vacation. The whispers in my ear are oftentimes overwhelming. And although they HURT, I believe they’re true.

My abuser has been a secret until now. This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone about my abuser. The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. And so, Scribbles & Tostitos Readers, allow me to introduce my abuser.

My abuser is Me.

 “My Abuser” was originally published on October 23, 2012. Let’s celebrate Mental Awareness Month by examining our own self-talk. Click here for the story behind the post and here for tips to combat your “Abuser.” 

20 thoughts on “My Abuser

  1. Very interesting and deep. I thi k we all battle that inner demon and why some people end up with that person who confirms there inner thoughts. It’s bold putting this out there but the point of self love starts when you are real about your vulnerabilities.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. I so appreciate this post. This is something that I’ve been dealing with for years and even more recently. You’ve just given a voice to those who have been conditioned to press on while secretly battling their own internal war. You’re amazing. Thank you for sharing your story with such a powerful, honest message.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There’s so many emojis I want to use right now, but I can’t because I’m at work on my computer and well.. there’s no emojis. So first, I jumped into combat mode and I was going to find this “guy” and with all my power hurt him for hurting you. Then when you said “my abuser is me” I fainted and said well you can’t just go off and slap anybody now. All jokes aside, I love this post and it was needed. So many times we fall victim to abusing ourselves that we don’t even know we’re doing it. I for one am guilty of it. From the natural hair to my baby weight. I thank you so much for this powerful and eye opening message!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is a test, but it got me over here to read this post again. This is awesome. It also got me to click the “story behind the post” and I have to say, you are awesome, too. Hope this finds it’s way to your comments and not your trash. You deserve to be recognized, Yaa Yaa!

    Liked by 1 person

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