2019, how do I say farewell to a year that brought me to the highest of heights and it also brought me down to my knees in prayer? It was a good year, with lots of wins, but it also presented some challenges. Most years have their mix of ups and downs, but 2019 felt a bit more dynamic for me. The ups made me feel on top of the world, while the downs kept me up at night.
Nonetheless, 2019 is a year that taught me a lot. In fact, I believe that this year was a pivotal moment in my professional life, spiritual life, physical/wellness journey, and in my personal development journey as well. I’m happy to see 2019 end on a high note, but most importantly I’m ready to march into 2020 with my head held high, ready to grasp whatever life throws at me.
Without further adieu, here are the lessons that 2019 taught me.
Many philosophers, motivational speakers, authors, and social media influencers who preach the importance of being your authentic self, but I cannot tell you how difficult it is to do! In a world where society is constantly telling you to be thinner, follow the latest trend, and get entrenched into the latest social media hashtag, it is easy to lose who you are.
At my last job, I did not feel that I could be my authentic self. Every day I wore a mask. I assumed a persona of how I believed my co-workers and leaders expected me to behave. While it had some short term benefits, I am still dealing with the unpleasant outcomes that resulted from me suppressing my true thoughts and opinions for 2 and a half years. I suppressed who I was because I didn’t think that the real me was a good fit for the role. After leaving the position, I had a lot of anxiety and emotional stress to address.
Professional settings are tricky. The workplace is filled with passive-aggressive antics, but through it all, one must find a way to adopt a professional persona that does not compromise her core personality, thoughts, and beliefs. Any job that prevents you from showing up authentically is not the right job for you.
Therapy is the most rewarding journey you will ever take.
Therapy has become a trend among Millennials and I’m so happy that more people are going! I majored in Psychology in college and cultivated a deep appreciation for mental health. To keep myself mentally fit, I always kept a therapist on standby to help me cope with life’s obstacles. I went to a therapist during college (in 2005); in graduate school (in 2009); while job-seeking (in 2012 and 2013) and then, I took a long hiatus from therapy, until I resumed therapeutic sessions in 2019.
Unlike my previous stints with therapy, I have a well-defined goal. This time, therapy does not happen in a silo, but I actively apply the insights gleaned from each session. It has increased the quality of my relationships with my co-workers and leaders at work; my relationships with my husband and relatives in my personal life and most importantly, it has increased the quality of my relationship with myself.
I acknowledge that therapy is not for everyone. Many who are seeking enlightenment and understand themselves more have turned to self-help books. I believe it’s a good start, but therapy presents an opportunity for a professional to confront your erroneous thought patterns. We all have them, but we are unaware that we do. That’s where your own personal, unbiased, professional can call you on your BS, when needed.
Weight ain’t nothing but a number.
One of the things that I’m proud of this year is joining OrangeTheory Fitness and maintaining an active lifestyle. I completed more than 50 classes this year and I saw some changes in my body’s composition.
I made the mistake of focusing on the numbers on the scale and not my body’s composition of fat and lean muscle. My weight wasn’t changing but I was slowly building more muscle. As I continue with my fitness journey, I’ll be sure to focus on my body composition and not the numbers on the scale.
Don’t worry about “bad” people getting what they deserve.
Earlier in the 2010’s, I had a boss that treated me unfairly. I can save the details for another post, but let’s just say that his actions were unlawful. I find myself googling her name to see if she’s gotten what she deserves.
Then, I realized that there are some people that may not get what they deserve for another 50+ years. If we sit and wish them misfortune, we are only doing harm to ourselves. Let it go and focus on your own success.
In the words of Queen Bey, “Always stay gracious. Best revenge is your paper.”
Simple vacations are the best.
I feel pressured to make every moment of my day productive. I underestimate the power of relaxation and rejuvenation. I prefer to spend my free time immersed in projects or social events. However, 2019 has shown me the value of hitting pause to reflect on life and its happenings. It’s okay to spend an afternoon curled up on the couch reading a good book. It’s okay to spend the winter vacation in your PJ’s binging a Netflix series or an old sitcom that reminds you of your childhood. It’s also okay to spend the entire day in bed doing absolutely nothing but shifting in and out of sleep. We all need an activity that helps us feel rejuvenated.
5 thoughts on “What 2019 Taught Me”
Happy New year! You look great! I too have started therapy. It is very rewarding, especially when my therapist is a beautiful beautiful man, who I love, and sometimes sneak into his house and hide under his bed. Needles to say, its going well.
Happy New Year to you! It’s great to see you! Does that mean we’ll get a new post from you soon? 😉 You’ve been missed!
Thank you! Lol! I can’t say that mine is a beautiful man but I definitely see the incentive 🙂
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It sounds like you are on a great path of personal growth. Good for you! Life is so much easier when you let go of the crap and hang on to the good.
Thanks Mary! And letting go of crap makes you feel a lot lighter. Negativity is heavy.
Oooommmmggggg!!!!! I can not ignore the fact that this is probably THHHEEEE first picture of yourself that you’ve ever shared with us! CONGRATULATIONSSSS!!!! I remember what it was like the FIRST time I posted a picture of myself… gasp!!! I was like sweating bullets! lol. You did it boo! How does it feel?
Now — about the blog — honestly each of these topics could have been their own blog….
”Professional settings are tricky. The workplace is filled with passive-aggressive antics, but through it all, one must find a way to adopt a professional persona that does not compromise her core personality, thoughts, and beliefs. Any job that prevents you from showing up authentically is not the right job for you” —- YOU BETTA PREACH!!!!
Today, I had a meeting and on the list of Asana tasks it was listed “Budget discussion” and as the president of the company proceeded to “clean up” the task list, I asked, “Can we remove the budget discussion task because “AINT NO BUDGET” — My exact words! It became the laughing point of the meeting and NOTED in the Asana task that MAC SAID, “AINT NO BUDGET!” —- This is all to your point of being our authentic selves, respectfully. Sometimes everyone else is just waiting for someone else to say it or to be themselves first 🙂
THERRAAAPPPPYYYY!!! OMG! I literally JUST watched a Youtube video called “Black Men and Therapy” by The Azonwus THIS MORNING!! Soooo good — my takeaway? People in “urban communities” suffer from PTSD MORE than war veterans!!! WWHHAATTT That is crazy! I started to self reflect on what traces of PTSD I might “unawaringly” have myself. Anyway, EXCELLENT point on therapy! I started about 6 years ago and haven’t stopped since! #JesusAndTherapy
Weight — I’m still working on this one — NO COMMENT.
Bad People — Honestly girl, I don’t even know what to say, the truth is, people may never get “what they deserve.” People are flawed, make mistakes … and are equally deserving of God’s mercy — and we have to just be ok with that. I know this is far easier said than lived. I still have to work through the truth of that in my heart when I feel like releasing a curse unto someone who has dared to “mess with me — the Lord’s anointed.” Lol. One day at a time.
Simple Vacations — Girl, I’m still trying to practice taking a day of REST! You know the Sabbath day that is a COMMANDMENT….lol. I’m not SDA, but I do believe in the power of taking A SINGLE DAY TO REST!!!!
All good food for thought in this post! Keep ’em coming! I enjoy hearing from you Yaa Yaa!