The Greatest Lie Millennials Believe

Welcome to S&T’s #TBT! This week’s post is an official throwback post from 2015. I’m considering whether to re-release old posts on the blog every first Thursday of the month. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section! 

I remember when I found out that Santa Claus wasn’t real. I thought to myself:

Now, why would I ever believe that an oversized man in a big red suit fit down a narrow chimney with Christmas? How exactly did he fit? How could one man fly 24,901 miles in 24 hours around the world delivering gifts to 9 billion children? And how did he travel on an object intended for snow? Could he have at least rented a private jet?

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But I did. And if you’re honest, you did too.

In fact, we’ve all believed menarche at some point in our lives. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we millennials have endorsed yet another lie.

We believe that if we follow our passion, then the money will come. Money’s not important as living our dream life.

Now, I’m not saying that money is everything, but to the person who invented this quote, have you ever not had any money?

Have you ever been broke? Now, I’m not talking the Awww-man-I-can’t-afford-to-eat-at-a-five-star-restaurant-broke, I’m talking the I-don’t-have-money-to-eat broke. I’m talking the should-I-pay-rent-or-should-I-buy-my-children-food broke.

I’m talking the I-can’t-attend-your-birthday-party-because-I-have-$10-in-my-account-and-can’t-even-afford-to-pay-for-gas-to-get-there broke.

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I’m talking BROKE without the “K” or the “E.” You’re so broke, you’re BRO. Can’t even afford the last two letters of the word.

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What’s Wrong With My Employers?

Call me entitled because my parents told me I was special. Call me a unfocused because I switch jobs more often than most people switch the songs on their workout playlists. Call me Peter Pan because I still live with my parents. Call me whatever you want because I believe there is more to life than going to the same job each day from 9:00am until 5:00pm; working on the same project day in and day out; driving to the same company 250 days each year; and waiting 35 years to retire from the same company you’ve been working in since you graduated college.

I’ve mentioned before how aggravated I become at journalists for talking about how entitled millennials are and how difficult we can be to work with. The truth is that as the Baby Boomers retire, the millennials are taking over the workforce. We believe in work-life balance over the work-is-your-life mentality. We want to live our lives to the fullest.

I have been in the workforce for 5 years now and some of the processes and systems bewilders me sometimes. How is it that the Baby Boomers and Generation X were okay with these obsolete workplace practices. Well, my 75 million peers and I are here to challenge the status quo.

In my relatively short career, I could not help but ponder why some of the things occur in the workplace the way they do. Here’s my attempt at explaining my frustration with the workplace.Read More »

The Man That Got Away

The Man That Got AwayOkay, so I am the only one of my friends who is unmarried. Wait, God. Did I miss something? Maybe it’s the guy who sat next to me in church 3 months ago? The one with the nice smile and straight teeth. The one who made it a point to greet me during tithes and offering and make remarks about the message to me. The one who asked for my number so we can have Bible study but for some strange reason, I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and turned him down?

Waiting for your special someone is not an easy feat. Let me tell you.

Last weekend, I met a guy who made my skin crawl. Needless to say, a date with him will not be on the agenda in the near future. Given this, I still find myself stressing about why I am not meeting anyone. I have tried everything. I have read all the relationship blogs. I go out; I meet people; I’ve even joined an online dating site. Nothing is happening.

If there is anything that life has taught me in the past 20-something years is that the best things come easy and in its own time. There is no need to force a relationship or meeting the right one. Perhaps I am not meeting anyone because today is not the right day.

My guy is wherever he is getting prepared for that day when I will walk into his life. And what am I doing? Worrying. What if I missed him?Read More »

The Complete Guide To Not Giving A *HOOT* What People Think

 Complete Guide To Not Caring What People ThinkHi, I’m Yaa Yaa and I worry too much.

I worry about what people think. In fact, I’m worried about what you’re thinking about me right now. I worry about things that happened 2 years ago. I worry about things that will happen 2 years from now.

And frankly, I’m tired of being a worry wart. It is debilitating.

I recently stumbled across an article while surfing the net. I chuckled as I read it because it helped me realize how utterly ridiculous it is to care what other people are thinking about me. While I do not believe in using profanity to express myself, I do agree to the points in this article: A Complete Guide To Not Giving A ____.

Happy Reading.

 

The One Thing I Learned That Changed My Life

frustrationLet me tell you a little secret: I don’t have my life plans figured out.

You may have seen my LinkedIn profile full of admirable job titles and though, If I could just have the opportunities she had, I would be further along in my career. You may have even seen the article written on me about the work I do in public health and thought, Wow, this chick is amazing! Or, you may have even seen the photo of me and Robin Thicke posted on my Facebook timeline and wished you could walk a day in my shoes.

Or maybe not.

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My “Younique” Marital Vows

beautiful-black-brideA woman’s wedding day is a day that a woman begins planning from the time she is a little girl. Her heart is set on having the perfect wedding and marrying the perfect man. But why wait until you’ve found Mr. Right?  Why not get married now, regardless of whether or not your single? Get married to the most beautiful person you’ll ever meet. That person is you!

The relationship we have with ourselves is crucial to not only our personal life, but our professional lives as well. You need self-confidence and self-respect to ace an interview and convince an employer to invest thousands of dollars in us. You need to love yourself in order to commit to taking great care of ourselves, for why would anyone bother going to the gym and eating

Ringhealthy foods, if you don’t care about your body? The relationship we have with ourselves plays a role in how we treat others. In the same way that hurt people hurt people, loved people love others. It only makes sense!

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She Said What?!?!

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????I’m happy-go-lucky personality, who always tries to find the silver-lining in any situation. But, sometimes, I’m tempted. I’m tempted to grab my boxing gloves and show off the not-so-nice part of Yaa in order to let people know that it’s NOT okay to say everything to pops up into your mind.

It’s almost as if people speak before they think and if you’re like me, you’re often on the receiving end of thoughtless comments. I still believe that people have pure intentions; they don’t mean to offend you, but they do. Why not keep a running list of things to NEVER say to someone. I’ll list mine, and you can list yours in the comment section.Read More »

What’s Wrong With My Millennial Employees?

I don’t know whether to nod in agreement or hang my head in shame whenever I read an article on how 20-somethings operate in the workplace. Our desire for flexible jobs, over-confidence in our ability to work in high-paying and powerful positions and our sense of entitlement have been talked about in many online news sources from Huffington Post to INC; from New York Times to CNN. I’m beginning to get a bit offended.

But before I do, I must admit I do see how my peers and I ruffle the feathers of our more seasoned, more polished, and much wiser and older counterparts.

Read A Gen-Xer’s Rant: What’s Wrong With My Millennial Employees?

Marriage: Because The Beat Stops at 30

Marriage Because The Beat StopsA few weeks ago, friend of mine IMed me in a frantic. “Do you have a moment? I need to talk.”

I finished whatever I was doing and IMed her back, “I’m all ears. What’s up?”

I will be 29 next week. Can you believe it? She writes. I am nowhere near married!

My friend is a beautiful woman with a high-paying job in corporate America. She lives in a nice condo in the posh side of Atlanta and drives a luxurious vehicle that her father gave her as Christmas present when she relocated to Atlanta from Boston 3 years ago. She’s got it all – volunteers each Wednesday at a local school, travels each year to an exotic country, and is heavily involved in various professional associations in her field.

“My life is not going as I planned. My boyfriend and I broke up six months ago. I don’t think we’ll get back together. And even if I meet someone next week, I still won’t have enough time to plan a wedding and get married before next March.”

“I hear you. Marriage at 30 has been your dream and now, you don’t think it will happen.” I typed.

“Yes!” She wrote.

We IMed back and forth for the next hour and a half until she got called away from her desk and had to get back to work.

While I understood my friend’s sentiments, I did not feel as pressed about getting married by age 30 as she does. Sure she’s one year older than me. I may feel like her when I’m her age; but I doubt it. Here’s why:

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12 Things To Love About Me

My Abuser Part IILife has a way of wearing us down. The deadlines, priorities, setbacks, and obligations can all take a toll on  us, leaving us mentally and physically drained. After a breakup with the man in your dreams, the loss of a job, or an unpleasant situation, you may believe there is something wrong you, for why would you keep attracting negative outcomes? The most important lesson that I’ve learned in my late 20’s is to guard my thoughts. Make sure that only positive thoughts are dwelled upon and negative thoughts are deleted immediately.

Negative thoughts is something I struggle with daily. For that reason, I have created various activities to help build my self-esteem and improve my thinking. It’s not often that I dwell on my positive attributes, so that’s why I’ve developed an exercise that would help me reinforce my positive characteristics. Dwelling on my positive attributes will magnify those attributes and isn’t that what we all want?

I’ve created a list of my favorite attributes. I started it earlier this year and have been adding to it as time passes by. Here’s what I love about me:

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Hustle While You Work

  • woman-money-imageI edit academic papers, blogs, and  other miscellaneous documents.
  • I plan special events.
  • I am a program manager, grant-writer, funding-seeker for various organizations in the field of public health.
  • I am a research specialist, administrative coordinator, and hospitality worker.
  • And most importantly, I blog at Scribbles & Tostitos Blog.

My job description has not always been this diverse; but, after being let go from a job unexpectedly a few years ago, I’ve learned to master the art of hustling. I hustle; I work. I work, while I hustle.

Like most US citizens, I relied on one job to meet my every need. Out of the blue one Thursday in May, I was called into a boardroom and told, “I’m sorry, Yaa, but we have to let you go.” Read More »

5 Ways You’re Accidentally Making People Hate You

I carry boxing gloves in the trunk of my car. It scares people, but I try to reassure them that they should not be scared. My boxing gloves protect them from me.

I suffer from a case of passive-aggressiveness. Kickboxing is my form of therapy. Whenever I feel a bit tense, I grab my boxing gloves and release my tension on an inanimate object — such as a bag or a wall — instead of a person. I never questioned it; I just thought I was extremely sensitive until I read this article below. Now, I understand the cause for my passive-aggressive tendencies.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-youre-accidentally-making-everyone-hate-you/

The “F-Word”

I know what you’re thinking. And it’s not that F-word. Failure comes to greet when we least expect it, leaving us to feel insecure, incapable, and sometimes depressed. I am learning that isn’t always a bad thing. We learn perseverance when we fail; our weaknesses are strengthened in our failure. Failure will always lead to success. The article below highlights some of the most successful people’s failures in their 20’s.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/moerder/19-successful-people-who-had-a-rough-time-in-their-20s

Enjoy!

Yaa Yaa

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Stuff Not To Say To Your Single 30-Something Friend

I wanted to jump, spin, do my church dance and yell “HALLELUJAH” when I read this post last night. The writer’s remarks about the ridiculous remarks people make to single people is on point. I’m not in my 30’s yet, but the article below still applies.

Next time I am asked a question like “How is your love life?,” from an unfamiliar married person, I will reply, “How’s the married life treating you?” And a question like, “Why are you still single?” will receive a response like, “Why are you married?”

Happy Reading!

http://m.xojane.com/sex/stuff-not-to-say-to-your-single-30-something-friend

What Not To Say To A 20-Something

Have you ever been asked an offensive question? You reserved judgment on the person because you knew that it was not their intention to hurt you. In response to the question, did you mutter something under your breath and change the subject? Or did you simply look at them as though they had grown a third eyeball and walk away?

We have all been asked a question like this before and for us 20-somethings, we are not immune to such questions. In fact, I believe we are on the receiving end of these questions more than others. Here are a list of questions and comments that make me cringe each time I hear it. Read More »

Jagged Little Pill: Soundtrack to My 20s

If I could choose any album to depict life in my 20s it would be Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill.” Yeah, I know that album was released 16 years ago, but it is still relevant! There’s a song on that album that fits my mood at almost any given moment in my life. For instance:

When I finally meet the man of my dreams. He likes the same things I do. He understands and accepts me and my quirkiness. He isn’t swayed by my occasional outbursts. He thinks I’m great even when I’m being unbearable.  He possesses all the qualities that are rare to find in one human being. Then, he moves halfway across the world to be a PeaceCorps volunteer in an African country. In a turn of events, his new career require him to live in Africa permanently. You admire his tenacity, and his drive to give back, but you’re saddened by the realization that a relationship with someone across the Atlantic Ocean will not work.  Situations like this, I play “Ironic.”

When I run into the lanky guy who had a huge crush on me back in 10th grade. Back then, he was awkward; he sat in the back of the classroom reading Harry Potter books and playing with his pet frog. He wore mismatched outfits that were the topic of everyone’s conversation.  I run into him at the local mall. Only this time, he’s not lanky and awkward anymore. He’s handsome and refined. He’s funny; he’s a gentleman. He’s an engineer at a company in Atlanta and in the midst of the worst recession since the Great Depression, he’s managed to hold down a full-time well-paying job. Now, he’s someone I want to date, I say to myself. Only drawback is, he always brings up the “time when” I wasn’t feeling him. He dangles words that I once said that he found hurtful like “Let’s just be friends” or “You’re like a brother!” in my face.  I meant those words on that day, but today, I want to take them back. Moments like this, I play “Head Over Feet.”

When stuff hits the fan. You’re tired of hearing what you should do from your parents, from your friends, and from your relatives. You decide to do it your way. And your way is to get in your car and drive away from your problems. You fill up your gas tank and drive as far as your gas tank permits. Alas, you can breathe. You can hear your own thoughts, your own inner voice. Freedom, and it smells and feels so good. In this moment, “Hand In My Pocket” bleeds through my speakers.

And when all is said and done. I’m lying in bed counting sheep and gazing at the ceiling. Reflecting on life and its lessons. Why I left the good guy – the one who would do anything in his power to make me happy – for the bad guy – the one who would do anything in his power to make himself happy.  How I should have listened to my parents when they gave me advice that was hard to take, that’s when I play “You Learn.”

Yep, Alantis Morisette, she knows the experiences I’ve had in my 20s very well.

What album would you choose to be the soundtrack of your 20’s? 30’s? 40’s? Or whatever decade you’re currently in?