New job, a new luxury apartment downtown, brand new car, the attention and admiration of my inner and outer circle. I just celebrated my 25th birthday on a beautiful beach. After 4 years of college and 2 years of graduate school, I finally graduated from student-dom and had entered adulthood. My job was everything I thought I wanted. I traveled for work and I even traveled on weekends. I was living the life of my dreams.
And 10 months later, it was taken away from me. It was taken from me in a matter of minutes. I lost my job. I lost my glamorous apartment. I lost the admiration of my friends and relatives. I lost the pride and confidence that I had in myself. I lost the freedom that I embraced being 550 miles from home. I returned back home, with no job and little money. I was no longer on top of the world. In fact, I thought the world was against me.Read More »
When I was a little girl, the first thing I’d look at each morning was a painting that hung directly across from my bed. It was a painting of a woman and her little girl in a warm and loving embrace. My mom purchased it when she was a teenager, years before she had her first child.Read More »
No man will ever love or marry you. There is something wrong with you that’s why you’re STILL single. You’re not smart enough or pretty enough. Look at that stomach, you need to lose that gut. You don’t dress nice enough. Look at you… a hot mess. You don’t deserve to be happy. Your hair is ugly in its natural state; I don’t know why you don’t perm it. You’re not competent in the workplace that’s why haven’t landed your dream job. You’ll never achieve your goals. You’re unintelligent, incompetent, and critical; I don’t know what your friends see in you.Read More »
Hey S&T! I’m a newlywed! My wedding was in August. Ceremony and reception were both beautiful. The best part is that I married the man of my dreams. My wedding vows are written below:
You are my favorite person. Kind-hearted, brilliant and driven. Considerate and encouraging. Wise and positive.
You have changed me. You’ve changed my perspective. Your companionship has made me bolder, more confident and fearless. The way you sacrifice on my behalf is awesome. I am grateful that no matter how much pushback I gave you back when we met, you persisted.Read More »
I’ve always loved the art of storytelling. But, I never thought that story-telling could make the large impact on the world that I’ve always desired to make. Perhaps, this is the reason why I never took it as seriously as my career in healthcare. Because healthcare is more noble than storytelling, right? Wrong. As Viola Davis so eloquently stated during a historical moment at the Academy Awards in February:
People ask me all the time, what kind of stories do you want to tell, Viola? And I say, exhume those bodies. Exhume those stories. The stories of the people who dreamed big and never saw those dreams to fruition. People who fell in love and lost. I became an artist—and thank God I did—because we are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life.
Storytelling is powerful. I cannot tell you how many movies have brought tears to my eyes or made me reevaluate life. What I do on my blog is tell stories of my life. I didn’t think of it as much, but when I stopped writing, I had a people ask me, “Why don’t you blog anymore?” Your blog is what inspires me. It’s those words that have brought me back to my first love – writing.
Lately, I’ve been contemplating my life purpose. I recently met a woman who I believe is living out her life’s purpose and I cannot tell you how much she has inspired me, motivated me, and helped me through life’s obstacles. She is truly amazing to be around and if that’s what living in your calling looks like, then count me in.
I want to get back to S&T, I can’t promise you a consistent blog schedule. But, I will promise you that I will go back to my first love.
Every morning when I was in elementary school, I would wake up and complete my routine: wake up, read Bible, pray, bathe, brush teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast. After breakfast, however, I would make my way back to my bedroom and write my schedule for the day on my dry erase board. The board would look something like this:
I grew up in the Greater Atlanta area, in a city 20 miles northwest of downtown Atlanta called Marietta. My house is located right off Sandy Plains Rd. My family and I moved to that home in 1992. Back then, Sandy Plains was two lane street. It was a stark contrast from what it is today. Nowadays, everything one needs is located right along Sandy Plains. Grocery stores, pharmacies, my high school, dentist offices, doctor offices, fast food restaurants, cemeteries, post offices, pet stores, movie theaters, bookstores, and even hair salons. My high school hangout spot was the Chick-fil-A off Sandy Plains Road. And even when we got older and wanted to frequent nightclubs; the neighborhood nightclub was a short 5 minute commute from Sandy Plains.Read More »
Career-wise, the last 5 years of my life have been the most challenging years ever. I finished my graduate school studies during the Great Recession and attempted to land a job at government and not-for-profit organizations, which were badly affected by the economy’s downturn. I was left to work for minimum wage in jobs I’m ashamed to admit on a public platform.Read More »
When the time comes for you to make a change, to grow, to do your life in a different way, the universe will make you so uncomfortable, so unhappy, you will eventually have no choice. If you insist on staying in a place you no longer belong in, if you do not grow the courage to do what is necessary to propel yourself forward, you will suffer the consequences, whatever they may be.
The most difficult question for me answer is “Where are you from?” It may sound like a straightforward question, but if you moved around a lot as a child or you are of a mixed race or cultural heritage, this question can become complicated to answer. Mix in the possibility that the race or culture that you identify with rejects or mocks you, you may be left to feel like an orphan.Read More »
Every now and again, I’ll stumble upon an article that describes exactly how I am and how I process information. This article, 16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People, describes me to a T. Sensitivity has its drawbacks but the silver lining is my writing. My ability to feel pain, sadness, happiness, and anger result in some of my best blog entries. I can’t complain.
My grandmother died last December and while my family and I knew her death was inevitable due to illness, the fact that she was gone hit harder than we could have imagined. She was the matriarch of the family, had a good sense of humor, a classic style of dress, and a sassiness very few could match. I loved her dearly.
Fortunately for me, up until 2013, I hadn’t experienced the death of a loved one. Although my brother passed away 25 years ago, I was too young to understand what happened. But as a young woman in her twenties, I knew exactly what it meant when someone dies. It means they are never coming back in flesh. And that, for anyone, is a hard pill to swallow.
I deal with life’s curveballs and downturns differently than most. You may find me smiling when you think I should be crying. You may find me organizing my sock drawer instead of opening up about how devastated I am about what has happened. You may even find me laughing uncontrollably with relatives about something totally unrelated to what has happened. Sometimes creating a distraction is the only way I can survive another day.Read More »
I worry about what people think. In fact, I’m worried about what you’re thinking about me right now. I worry about things that happened 2 years ago. I worry about things that will happen 2 years from now.
And frankly, I’m tired of being a worry wart. It is debilitating.
I recently stumbled across an article while surfing the net. I chuckled as I read it because it helped me realize how utterly ridiculous it is to care what other people are thinking about me. While I do not believe in using profanity to express myself, I do agree to the points in this article: A Complete Guide To Not Giving A ____.
As the years increase from the time I walked through the Alumnae Arch and now, I realize that Spelman helped me become the Woman that stands before you today. Here are four things my alma mater gave me:
1) A Strong Work Ethic.
Spelman College courses were not easy. One class at Spelman was worth more credits than any other class in the Atlanta University Center and rightfully so. There was always extra work and it came in the form of papers, projects, supplemental activities outside the classroom. If you scored an A on an exam or in a class, you earned every bit of it.
Lesson Learned: Translating that experience in the workplace, you don’t just do the bare minimum to achieve results in the workplace. You do more than what’s expected of you. Let your actions say more than your words.Read More »
Let me tell you a little secret: I don’t have my life plans figured out.
You may have seen my LinkedIn profile full of admirable job titles and though, If I could just have the opportunities she had, I would be further along in my career. You may have even seen the article written on me about the work I do in public health and thought, Wow, this chick is amazing! Or, you may have even seen the photo of me and Robin Thicke posted on my Facebook timeline and wished you could walk a day in my shoes.
A woman’s wedding day is a day that a woman begins planning from the time she is a little girl. Her heart is set on having the perfect wedding and marrying the perfect man. But why wait until you’ve found Mr. Right? Why not get married now, regardless of whether or not your single? Get married to the most beautiful person you’ll ever meet. That person is you!
The relationship we have with ourselves is crucial to not only our personal life, but our professional lives as well. You need self-confidence and self-respect to ace an interview and convince an employer to invest thousands of dollars in us. You need to love yourself in order to commit to taking great care of ourselves, for why would anyone bother going to the gym and eating
healthy foods, if you don’t care about your body? The relationship we have with ourselves plays a role in how we treat others. In the same way that hurt people hurt people, loved people love others. It only makes sense!
Life has a way of wearing us down. The deadlines, priorities, setbacks, and obligations can all take a toll on us, leaving us mentally and physically drained. After a breakup with the man in your dreams, the loss of a job, or an unpleasant situation, you may believe there is something wrong you, for why would you keep attracting negative outcomes? The most important lesson that I’ve learned in my late 20’s is to guard my thoughts. Make sure that only positive thoughts are dwelled upon and negative thoughts are deleted immediately.
Negative thoughts is something I struggle with daily. For that reason, I have created various activities to help build my self-esteem and improve my thinking. It’s not often that I dwell on my positive attributes, so that’s why I’ve developed an exercise that would help me reinforce my positive characteristics. Dwelling on my positive attributes will magnify those attributes and isn’t that what we all want?
I’ve created a list of my favorite attributes. I started it earlier this year and have been adding to it as time passes by. Here’s what I love about me:
I carry boxing gloves in the trunk of my car. It scares people, but I try to reassure them that they should not be scared. My boxing gloves protect them from me.
I suffer from a case of passive-aggressiveness. Kickboxing is my form of therapy. Whenever I feel a bit tense, I grab my boxing gloves and release my tension on an inanimate object — such as a bag or a wall — instead of a person. I never questioned it; I just thought I was extremely sensitive until I read this article below. Now, I understand the cause for my passive-aggressive tendencies.
“Self-love?” my male cousin asked, “I know a lot of women who love themselves.”
“I know a lot of women who don’t.” I challenged.
Poor self-esteem is one of the root causes of relationship problems for both men and women. Women, in constant search for validation, will look for a man who will tell her she is beautiful; she is valuable; and she is desirable. The sad part is that once she is receiving these intangibles from a man, it is difficult for her to see clearly. Although the man may be interested in her, she may be oblivious to the fact that he is emotionally unavailable. Perhaps, he may already be in a relationship or unable to commit for various reasons.
A co-worker once told me that I was a nice girl, but I was a lot of work. He’d rather date a woman who was little maintenance. If I’m over here telling a man that he has to pull his pants up, treat me with some respect, and wait for me. If I insist that he has his stuff together before he approaches me, there’s another woman somewhere who doesn’t demand it.