Love Letter

This post was originally written on Valentine’s Day 2011; however, I am reposting it to Scribbles & Tostitos. Enjoy!

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Welcome to Valentine’s Day.

Normally, I would greet Valentine’s Day with excitement. Thinking that since the day is full of love and surprises, a rose from a “Secret Admirer” will mysteriously arrive on my doorstep. Or even better, I’ll meet the man of my dreams somewhere between work and home and we’ll drive into the sunset and live happily ever after. Although these things never happen, it did come close to happening one year. In 8th grade, a boy bought me some flowers he picked from his backyard and asked me to be his girlfriend. And said I said yes, of course. How sweet.

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What the HBO Dramedy ‘Insecure’ Means To Me

I adore the dramedy “Insecure” on HBO. The television series means more to me than just your run-of-the-mill TV pastime. The show validates my Black woman experience in a manner that I have never seen on television in my 36-years of life. Prior to Insecure’s entry into the TV-Universe, I felt disconnected from TV characters. They never had the same flaws and idiosyncrasies that I embodied.

Growing Up As a TV-Sitcom Fanatic

As a child, I was a TV-sitcom fanatic. Saved By The Bell, Clarissa Explains It All, Family Matters, Step By Step, Moesha, Parkers, and Cosby Show were some of my favorites. While I appreciated the characters, I didn’t feel that they truly represented my unique level of awkwardness. I wasn’t as fashion-forward and popular as Lisa Turtle on Saved By The Bell. Clarissa was as smart as me, but she embodied a level of confidence that I could only aspire to be on Clarissa Explains It All. Laura Winslow and Moesha were the ultimate triple-threat characters on Family Matters and Moesha, respectively: smart and popular and assertive. The bonus was that they had boys swooning over them. I was smart, but I was unpopular and rather timid in elementary school. Boys were not checking for me in middle and high school.

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Where Ya Been?!

Hi S&T Readers! I know it’s been a minute since I dropped a blog post. Life has been life-ing and work has been work-ing. But if you were wondering, I am still breathing! Here’s what else I’ve been doing since my last post in December 2019.

I’ve been in the house.

Literally.

That’s it.

That’s the post.

Just kidding.

Read on.

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Insecure Recap Season 4 Episode 2

Hi Friends! I know it’s been about 4 months since my last post. Work has kept me busy! More to come on that. I was trying to figure out the next post, but it dawned on me. Why not begin recapping my favorite television show, Insecure? I already irritate my friends with my constant “Have you seen Insecure?” banter, so why not stop the nagging and start the recapping! Here’s my first recap with my thoughts below.

**SPOILER ALERT** If you haven’t watched this episode. Kindly close the window and return when you have. 

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Untraditional College Advice for Incoming Freshman

I was a dud in college.

I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

My college was located in a city 30 minutes away from my parents’ house. I stayed on campus to get the “true college experience,” but I often went home during the weekends and even during the week to attend family events or attend my childhood church.

Given that my parents’ lived within a 30-mile radius of my college campus, I did not need to stay on-campus. I could have stayed at my parents’ house and carpooled to campus with Mom each morning since she worked a mere 10 minutes away from my college.

My church was 15 minutes away. Church kept me busy between Sunday service, mid-week service, and “College Night” on Fridays.

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Lying with Truth

One of my earliest childhood memories occurred on a playground in summer camp. I was playing kickball and peed on myself at 2nd base.

I was 8 years old, so I knew better.

I didn’t do it because I was engrossed in the game.

I didn’t do it because I had a bladder disorder.

I didn’t do it because I was vying for attention.

I did it because I was shy.

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Where The Heck Have You Been?!

Hi, S&T! Remember me??

It’s been 6 months since my last post. Apologies for going radio silence on you. I have so many new ideas for posts, but I just couldn’t come back after ghosting you and say, TA-DA New Post! without at least explaining where the heck I’ve been in the past 196 days. So, here goes a list of things I’ve been doing instead of updating my blog. And some other random epiphanies I’ve had along the way.

I’ve moved into a new place.

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When 32 Feels Like The New 62 and Other Ways I Know I’m Getting “Old”

I had a ball in my twenties. I was adventure-seeking, fun, and lived by the motto, YOLO.  I was always down for a good party.

On Fridays evenings, I’d come home from work around 6, take a 3 hour nap, and call a friend 9pm to decide where to go. By 11pm, I’d dressed in the jazziest outfit and the highest heels and ready to head out for a night on the town in Atlanta. I’d return at 6am – sometimes later – after a night on the town.

Those days – although 6 years ago – feel like a century ago. My life is different now.

First, I no longer live in the booming party-centric city of Atlanta. I live in a small town in North Carolina. Going out requires some creativity and meticulous planning. But what’s changed the most is me.Read More »

OOPS! I Did It Again

When I hit the publish button for S&T 7 years ago, I had no idea that I’d meet such a charming blogging community, make new friends, and be nominated for TWO blog awards! In December, Pages of Paige nominated me for the Liebster Award. Last month,  Drifyness and Talking with Tati both nominated me for the Sunshine Blog Award.

Thank you, C!

Thank you, Tati!

I am particularly inspired by C and Tati’s blogs, so an award coming from them means a lot to me. If you haven’t already, check them out! You’ll love them too.Read More »

My Husband Was Not What I Wanted

Do you ever look at your significant other and think, “How did I ever fall for you?”

I do.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and I have my moments where this thought crosses my mind. Now, don’t get it twisted. I love him and all, but it amazes me how different he is from what I thought I wanted in a man. He differs from the qualities I had itemized on my list.

You know, the list. The list women make of qualities they want in a man. I started my list at age 16. Then, added to it as I got older.

By the time I was 27, my list looked like this:

Purple Brush Strokes Packing List

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I’m Trying To Be Great But My Body Won’t Let Me (Part II)

In last week’s post, I discussed the challenges I’ve had losing weight in my 30’s. I gained 10 pounds in one year and when my belly was bulging from the cute outfit I had chosen to wear in my engagement photos, I decided to make a major change. I needed to be back to my normal size by August for my wedding. I encourage you to catch up here, if you haven’t already.

Caught up?

Great! Here we go.Read More »

The One Flaw That Always Made Me Feel Unpretty

pexels-photo-568027It’s not by happenstance that the tagline for my blog is “Her journey to self-love.” Falling in love with myself has been of importance to me and through my blog posts, I share what I’ve learned along the way. I’m not the only one on this mission. Millions of women around the globe struggle with insecurities and/or low self-esteem. I share my story in hopes that women will find it helpful in their healing.

My story begins with a condition I’ve had since birth. I was born with a droopy right eyelid, often called a lazy eye. The condition caused me to have difficulty seeing out of my right eye. In order to see objects, I would tilt my head so that the object before me would be seen with my left eye. Eye doctors worried that I’d lose vision in my right eye if it wasn’t being used enough. To avoid this, they prescribed an eyepatch for left eye. If my left eye is unavailable, I’d be forced to use my right eye. As a toddler, I also had surgery to raise my right eye lid.

My early childhood was filled with eye doctor appointments, eye exams, and silly comments from from and classmates who would often ask, “What’s wrong with your eye? Are you sleepy?” and my personal favorite, “Why is one of your eyes bigger than the other?” I hated going to eye doctor appointments. I regretted the fact that I had to wear an eyepatch. I wished I was born with normal eyes like my mom, dad, brothers and everyone else in my family.Read More »

5 Unconventional Productivity Hacks For Happier Life

When I was laid off from my job seven years ago, I lost my apartment and was forced to live with my parents. I was living paycheck to paycheck, so when money dried up, I had no emergency fund. Life sucked. My confidence went down along with my back account balance. I could not enjoy life the way I once did. I vowed I’d never be broke again.

Here at S&T, we aim to enlighten, encourage, and empower women to be the best they can be. Financial prosperity supports our goal. How can you live a fulfilling life when you’re consistently broke? It’s hard. I’ve tried. Part of our mission is help you achieve financial prosperity.

Unfortunately, our 9-to-5 jobs will not get us to the promise land. Sure, it will help you pay bills, go on a few trips, and pay off some student loans, but real financial gain is through investments and entrepreneurship. The average person spends 8 hours of their day working for someone else. After a long day at the office, we juggle our other priorities: gym, family, housekeeping, etc. It’s difficult to invest the time and energy to work for yourself, unless we master the art of time management.Read More »

My Life Changed Once I Started Doing These Things

I have undergone a transformation. I’m like a butterfly that emerged from a cocoon after experiencing some tough challenges. I’m better for it. I’m thankful for the hard times because I’m happy with the woman that it has made me. I’m also grateful for what the tough times forced me to do.

  1. Live within my means.

Two years ago, my life mantra was YOLO. You only life once, so splurge. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. While it’s true that no one knows if we’ll see the light of tomorrow, it is wise to ensure that there is something waiting for us in case we do.Read More »

So Hard To Say Goodbye…

GoodbyeIt is only appropriate that I bid farewell to one of my best years ever by updating my blog. It has been a phenomenal year for me. I was unhappy with my life in December 2014 and in February 2015, I decided to make a change. I did what was necessary to make the change I was seeking. Not everyone was happy with the changes I made, but I knew it had to be done. I persevered. I am a better person for it. My transitions were not easy, but it was fulfilling; it encouraged me to grow and to learn more about myself in the process.

2014 posed questions; 2015 provided answers to those questions. I cannot wait to see what 2016 has in store.

If there is something you want to change in 2016, be that change. It may be difficult, but it will be worth it.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

 

Image Source: Forbes.com

 

Thirty

30That day is finally upon me. The day I turn 3-0. The day I enter a new decade.

I can’t believe this day is here. Wow. I am getting older. I am maturing. Things that used to be important to me are no longer important. Things that used to not matter as much are becoming my top priorities. The future is bright. I am more confident in myself and my decisions more than ever. This journey of self-discovery and growth lasts a lifetime, so this journey is only beginning.

The natural tendency for me to do as I age is to reflect. Where have I fallen short? Where have I thrived? What can I do better? What have done well? The perfectionist in me would point to the flaws and in all the areas that i have failed instead of where I have succeeded. Because, let’s face it, what I envisioned for my life at 30 is clearly not my reality. In fact, my life is completely different from what I imagined.

But as my co-worker so gracefully put it, “In order to jump that big hurdle, you just have to decide that you are content with your life and enjoy it.” So, that’s what I’m doing. Instead of focusing on the bad, I’m going to focus on what is working for me at this time in my life. To buttress that statement, I’ve created a list of accomplishments made in the past 29 years.Read More »

On The Reason We Say “Merry” Christmas Instead of “Happy” Christmas

Merry Christmas“Happy Christmas!” I said to my co-worker as he left the office for the holidays.

“Merry New Year!” he replied.

We both chuckled.

Prior to this exchange, we had just discussed reasons why people wish others a happy birthday, a happy thanksgiving, and a Happy 4th of July, but for Christmas, the same people will wish you a Merry Christmas. He posed a reason that helped elevate my mood and put things in perspective.Read More »