What To Consider Before Asking A Couple When They Are Getting Married

My boyfriend and I are approaching our 2 year anniversary and I just turned 30 years old. I understand why so many relatives and friends are becoming increasingly more curious about when will tie the knot.  As my elder no-nonsense cousin so eloquently stated during the early stages of my boyfriend and my relationship, “You’re not 19. What are his intentions?” It’s a valid question for me to consider.

I believe people are asking from a sincere place. They genuinely want me to be happy and they believe that marriage is one way to achieve happiness. They also want to make sure that I do it fast before time runs out and I can no longer give birth to babies. Many unmarried women in their mid-forties, who were focused on their career in their early thirties, regret the fact that they did not settle down earlier. Perhaps they want to ensure that I do not make the same mistake.

I get it.

But what I don’t understand is how some people feel the need to pressure you into making such a huge decision. We all know what pressure sounds like from our loved ones:

  • When are you getting married? (asked each time you see her/him)
  • When will I have a grandchild?
  • My son needs a playmate. Please tell me you’re going to have children next year.
  • You’re not getting any younger. You don’t want a high-risk pregnancy, do you?

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Celebrate You

Man Surprising Woman with GiftI was once involved with a man who did not understand why I made such a huge fuss about my birthday. “It’s just another day,” he’d say to me, as I’d look for the perfect restaurant to hold a dinner party; the perfect dress to wear at the perfect dinner party; and the accessories to complement perfection.

As my special day drew closer, I’d say to him, “What are you getting me for my birthday?” He’d never respond, but somehow, I managed to convince myself that he’d do something special for me on my birthday.  Three years is how long we had known each other and I knew that the length of time that I had known him guaranteed that I would receive a birthday present from him. On my day of birth, he sent me a Skype message that read, “Happy Birthday.” I did not respond. Birthday wishes brought to me via Skype instant messenger could not be my birthday present. He knows how much I appreciate phone calls from my friends. And he was my best friend.Read More »