When the time comes for you to make a change, to grow, to do your life in a different way, the universe will make you so uncomfortable, so unhappy, you will eventually have no choice. If you insist on staying in a place you no longer belong in, if you do not grow the courage to do what is necessary to propel yourself forward, you will suffer the consequences, whatever they may be.
“Sure,” I said looking up from my MacBook filled with an inbox of endless emails from recruiters. I had been on the job hunt for three months. For the first time in my life, I was willing to step into something new, and for some reason, a startup seemed like the something new I was searching for.
“So yeah, let me get the contact person’s phone number,” my brother said, looking at his phone. “Just give him a call. Cool?”
About a half hour later, I called the recruiter. I mentioned that I was referred to this position. I mentioned my educational background, my strong interpersonal skills and of course, my previous experience working at a startup.
He was stunned. “I’m gonna let my recruiter know and give you a call back.”
Less than 24 hours later, his manager called me. “Yes, we’d like to interview you,” he said, “How’s tomorrow?” Continue reading
No one told me it was going to be this way.
Not that this is a bad way; it’s just that no one really tells you about some of the ups and downs that you’ll experience in your first real relationship. Your annoying friend who is always making updates about your relationship status on Facebook and Twitter forgot to mention a few things.
I am in a relationship now and here are 8 things no one ever told me about being in a relationship.
1. You will feel like you have split personalities.
Before He came along, I was an interesting person with an array of interests. Spoken word, apple picking, dancing, kickboxing, traveling and blogging were all part of my life. I spent a lot of my free time with friends and family. But now, I’m in a relationship, trying to balance spending time with him and spending time with friends, family, and myself. I’m trying to keep my commitments to all birthday parties, housewarming extravaganzas, weddings, and every other social outing. I’m trying to keep church commitments, attend family events, spend quality time with the family, and act like my new “friend” will not subtract the time I spend with the closest people in my life. I’m trying to blog regularly, exercise regularly, spend adequate time on my personal and professional development, and enjoy my precious “me” time. I am trying to act like a single person in a relationship and can we say exhausting? I literally feel like I have split personalities!
On this blog, I discuss my journey towards self-acceptance and high self-esteem. One of the quickest way to gauge self-esteem is to rate self-respect. An indicator of self-respect is one’s ability to say “no” when needed. It’s only the 16th day of the new year, but it seems as though 2014 will teach me how to say that two-letter word.
For a people pleaser like me, the consequences of telling someone “no” is something I fear. What if the person rescinds their friendship? What if I am no longer perceived as a “nice” girl? Or, better yet, what if I feel guilty afterwards.
At first thought, these fears appear valid. No one wants to be perceived as a jerk. I want to have as many friends as possible, and guilt is a companion that no one wants to live with. But what I have failed to realize until now is that saying “yes” to every request will only make me unhappy, bitter, and a doormat. Thinking of it this way makes saying “no” more appealing. Continue reading