Love Affair

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holding-handsWe met when I was 8 years old. Old people referred to it as puppy love, which my 8-year-old mind did not comprehend. I was not a puppy and neither was he. I turned to him whenever I needed to vent or whenever I needed a good laugh. He always provided an outlet for me to truly express myself.

I showed him off to others, whenever we were together. My parents liked him; my three-year-old brother played with him. My classmates and teachers appreciated him and my grandmother encouraged him. I don’t know what it was about him that intrigued me. We continued to share a close friendship until I went to college. Then, we drifted apart.Read More »

On The Reason We Say “Merry” Christmas Instead of “Happy” Christmas

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Merry Christmas“Happy Christmas!” I said to my co-worker as he left the office for the holidays.

“Merry New Year!” he replied.

We both chuckled.

Prior to this exchange, we had just discussed reasons why people wish others a happy birthday, a happy thanksgiving, and a Happy 4th of July, but for Christmas, the same people will wish you a Merry Christmas. He posed a reason that helped elevate my mood and put things in perspective.Read More »

#WhatsForBrunch: Egg Harbor Cafe Edition

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   LogoI thought I knew all the hot brunch spots in Atlanta, until I stumbled upon a gem in South Buckhead called Egg Harbor Café.

My family and I decided to host a holiday brunch on the Sunday before Christmas. When the prices at our first-choice breakfast buffet shot up to $32 per person, we decided to expand our horizons and try a new (and more affordable) breakfast restaurant. My dad casually suggested Egg Harbor Café as being a fallback option and I am glad he did. Once I perused the menu and discovered how delightful the items listed appeared, I knew I had to try it.Read More »

This Is What Happened When I Left My Phone At Home

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Life Without A Phone PicYesterday, I did something I have never done before: I left my smartphone at home for the first time since I purchased it in May.

I didn’t realize my phone was not with me until I was in traffic on my way to work, but by that time, I was already 20 minutes in my commute and turning back around to pick it up, would guarantee that I would be late to work. I could not be late to work again.

I became anxious initially, as my thoughts bounced from how could I leave my phone at home to I’m going to drive 35 minutes during my lunch hour to pick it up.

I arrived at work early, with a plan to pick up my phone during my lunch hour. Two hours later, I realized that my day was coming along well without the addictive device. For once, I could think clearly without the interference of notifiers that frequently sound on my Android phone.  A day away from phone was delightful and helped me accomplish the following things.Read More »

Why It’s Better That Things Didn’t Work Out

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why-life-sucks-1Life sucks.

Jobs are lost. Boyfriends break up with you. Unwanted pounds creep up on you. Schools turn you down for admission. Bosses overlook you for promotions. Loan companies do not forget your phone number (no matter how much you try to avoid them).  Bills pile up. Friends get married and forget about you. Diseases occur. Death snatches people away too soon…

But in the midst of these terrible moments, we have to remember that everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly – occur to benefit us. These things occur to make us better than we were yesterday.Read More »

Why Is Your Penis On A Dead Girl’s Phone And Other Things I Adore About Annalise Keating

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Annalise Keating Main PicMysterious, sexy, and powerful. Annalise Keating possesses all of these qualities and more. She is a star in the courtroom, as a criminal defense attorney and in the classroom, as a criminal law professor in Shonda Rhimes’ newest show, How To Get Away With Murder. Annalise Keating is mesmerizing. I love watching her in character and here all the reasons why:
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Street Harassment Is Life Threatening

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Street HarassmentSomeone had to do it.

Shoshana Roberts, a 29-year old actress residing in New York City, recorded an experiment on street harassment. She installed a hidden camera and had it record 10 hours of her walking the streets of Manhattan.  She experienced everything from the casual “what’s up,” to the more threatening act of being followed for several minutes by numerous men. She did not respond to any of these comments, maintaining her composure, a straight face, and avoiding eye contact, yet the comments continued. In a matter of 10 hours, she experienced 108 catcalls from men of different racial backgrounds.

As I watched Shoshana’s video, I remember my own experiences of being catcalled. Although I have been harassed on numerous occasions, I vividly remember one that was the most threatening to me. I was a sophomore at Spelman College at the time and meeting friends across campus one Friday evening. A man in a car with three other men approached me in a Black SUV. “Hey,” he said as he was driving alongside me.Read More »

Crazy, Stupid Love

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It’s the can’t eat. Can’t sleep. I want you. But can’t have you. You’re no good for me. But I can’t live without you. Can’t sleep without hearing your voice. It’s the – hate you cause we’re not together and miss you terribly when we’re apart. It makes you angry and sad. Happy and mad. Embarrassed and joyful. Exhilirated and humiliated. Insane and clear. Fun and dull. It’s everything in between and everything it’s not. It still is. I miss you but I’m happy we’re apart. I miss you but I’m sad that we’re apart. I miss you but I’m relieved we’re apart. I’m sad but I’m happy. A concotion of human emotions that should have never been present in the start. The same thing that makes you say I can’t live without you makes you say I can’t live with you. We’re no good for each other. What’s the point. And that’s my take on Crazy Stupid Love.

A Favorite Halloween Story

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halloween picTo most, Halloween is a day to dress as someone (or thing) else, but to me, Halloween is just an excuse to delight myself in all the candy I can stomach in one day. My perception of October 31st changed when I relocated to Boston. A co-worker of mine invited me to his annual Halloween house party. I decided to give his party a chance and convinced my homegirl to come with me.

We arrived at the party fashionably late and dressed in “regular” clothes. We were greeted by cat girls, police officers, and a banana. We knew we were in for a treat when we saw two guys painted in blue: one guy had a blue cross painted across his chest, while another guy had a blue shield painted across his chest. When I asked them to name their costumes, the guys replied, “Blue Cross Blue Shield.” We couldn’t help but give them some daps for their creativity. But that wasn’t the most creative costume we saw that night.

Mingling makes me thirsty, so my friend  and I sauntered over to the bar to grab a drink. A man who stood about 6 feet tall wearing a light blue jump suit with white cotton balls scattered across his outfit walked by.

“Excuse me sir,” my friend said, “What are you?”

He replied, “I’m cloudy…” He paused for a second, grabbed her hand and a syringe filled with water. He release a drop of water on her hand and finished his statement, “…with a chance of rain.”

What Graduate School Failed To Teach Me About The Workplace

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grad school taught meGraduate school did not give me all the necessary tools needed to excel in the workplace.  Sure, it taught me theory and concepts, but the workplace is a jungle: it requires more than just knowledge and skills.

Five years of work experience has taught me that communication, confidence, and skills trumps knowledge in any position. A degree of emotional intelligence is crucial too. Here are my lessons learned from working in my industry.

Master the art of reading between the lines.

In school, feedback was constant. Write a paper and earn a grade. Take a quiz; learn what to study for the exam. Present the wrong answer to a question in class; get corrected for your mistake. Everything was straightforward.Read More »

The Gift Of Tragedy

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gift tragedyMy grandmother died last December and while my family and I knew her death was inevitable due to illness, the fact that she was gone hit harder than we could have imagined. She was the matriarch of the family, had a good sense of humor, a classic style of dress, and a sassiness very few could match. I loved her dearly.

Fortunately for me, up until 2013, I hadn’t experienced the death of a loved one. Although my brother passed away 25 years ago, I was too young to understand what happened. But as a young woman in her twenties, I knew exactly what it meant when someone dies. It means they are never coming back in flesh. And that, for anyone, is a hard pill to swallow.

I deal with life’s curveballs and downturns differently than most. You may find me smiling when you think I should be crying. You may find me organizing my sock drawer instead of opening up about how devastated I am about what has happened. You may even find me laughing uncontrollably with relatives about something totally unrelated to what has happened. Sometimes creating a distraction is the only way I can survive another day.Read More »

All Good Things Must Come To An End…

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GoodThingsComeToAnEndMy birthday is on Friday and as of July 25th, I will have approached the tail end of my twenties.

My initial reaction was to feel sad. Older cousins, friends, and co-workers have always told me, Your 20’s are the best decade of your life. Enjoy it! Don’t do what I did and get married. Get your education now before you acquire more responsibilities. And I have taken these words of wisdom to heart and have fully embraced every aspect of my 20’s: the high points, the low points, the confusion, the heartbreak, the freedom, the fun times, the excitement, the happy moments and overwhelming moments.

But like the saying goes, All good things must come to an end, and this second decade of my life has truly been one of those good things.Read More »

What’s Wrong With My Employers?

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Call me entitled because my parents told me I was special. Call me a unfocused because I switch jobs more often than most people switch the songs on their workout playlists. Call me Peter Pan because I still live with my parents. Call me whatever you want because I believe there is more to life than going to the same job each day from 9:00am until 5:00pm; working on the same project day in and day out; driving to the same company 250 days each year; and waiting 35 years to retire from the same company you’ve been working in since you graduated college.

I’ve mentioned before how aggravated I become at journalists for talking about how entitled millennials are and how difficult we can be to work with. The truth is that as the Baby Boomers retire, the millennials are taking over the workforce. We believe in work-life balance over the work-is-your-life mentality. We want to live our lives to the fullest.

I have been in the workforce for 5 years now and some of the processes and systems bewilders me sometimes. How is it that the Baby Boomers and Generation X were okay with these obsolete workplace practices. Well, my 75 million peers and I are here to challenge the status quo.

In my relatively short career, I could not help but ponder why some of the things occur in the workplace the way they do. Here’s my attempt at explaining my frustration with the workplace.Read More »

Black Women Are Ghetto

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I think Black American women are [ghetto], but not you, you’re different. 
– My African Co-worker

Unfortunately, there are still people who endorse the belief that African American women are ghetto. It always amazes me that after all these years of the media exposing viewers to successful, educated, and refined African American women, people still believe the hype. Some of these stereotypes are laughable and unsurprising, but some of it rather shocking and a little disturbing.Read More »

The Man That Got Away

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The Man That Got AwayOkay, so I am the only one of my friends who is unmarried. Wait, God. Did I miss something? Maybe it’s the guy who sat next to me in church 3 months ago? The one with the nice smile and straight teeth. The one who made it a point to greet me during tithes and offering and make remarks about the message to me. The one who asked for my number so we can have Bible study but for some strange reason, I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and turned him down?

Waiting for your special someone is not an easy feat. Let me tell you.

Last weekend, I met a guy who made my skin crawl. Needless to say, a date with him will not be on the agenda in the near future. Given this, I still find myself stressing about why I am not meeting anyone. I have tried everything. I have read all the relationship blogs. I go out; I meet people; I’ve even joined an online dating site. Nothing is happening.

If there is anything that life has taught me in the past 20-something years is that the best things come easy and in its own time. There is no need to force a relationship or meeting the right one. Perhaps I am not meeting anyone because today is not the right day.

My guy is wherever he is getting prepared for that day when I will walk into his life. And what am I doing? Worrying. What if I missed him?Read More »

#100HappyDays: Days 6 – 22

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Let me update you on the moments from Day 6 through Day 22 that have made my days happy.

wpid-20140506_114713.jpg

Day 6:

I drive to the gas pump, turn off the ignition, reach for my wallet, and climb out the car. As I was about to swipe my VISA card, I realize that the boyfriend beat me to it. He was already filling up my tank. Awwwww!

Day 7:

I’m at Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport, running as late as ever, when I run into Mike Epps, who is cracking jokes like his usual self. I arrive late to my gate and the flight attendant relieves my stress by booking me for a later flight, without any delay. I reach my destination an hour later than my original flight. Hallelujah.

Day 8:

Eating lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in more than 5 years. The old adage holds validity, “Like fine wine, friends get better with time.”

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The Reason I Don’t Blog Anymore

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WritersBlockI know, I know. I’ve skipped posts and as the months of 2014 unfold, my posts are becoming more and more sporadic. I apologize for my lack of consistency. Life offline has a way of interfering with one’s ability to blog the way she once did. Things are changing. I’m changing. And anything that comes to mind to discuss on a public platform seems a bit too personal. While I value transparency on my blog, there some moments in life that are best left unsaid. I really think that as things settle down and I am more comfortable in my situation, or perhaps gotten over this large hump in front of me, then I’ll be back to consistent blog posts.

In the meantime, S&T, I want you to get what you need from my posts. Is there a particular topic you’d like me to blog about?