Love Letter

This post was originally written on Valentine’s Day 2011; however, I am reposting it to Scribbles & Tostitos. Enjoy!

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Welcome to Valentine’s Day.

Normally, I would greet Valentine’s Day with excitement. Thinking that since the day is full of love and surprises, a rose from a “Secret Admirer” will mysteriously arrive on my doorstep. Or even better, I’ll meet the man of my dreams somewhere between work and home and we’ll drive into the sunset and live happily ever after. Although these things never happen, it did come close to happening one year. In 8th grade, a boy bought me some flowers he picked from his backyard and asked me to be his girlfriend. And said I said yes, of course. How sweet.

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What the HBO Dramedy ‘Insecure’ Means To Me

I adore the dramedy “Insecure” on HBO. The television series means more to me than just your run-of-the-mill TV pastime. The show validates my Black woman experience in a manner that I have never seen on television in my 36-years of life. Prior to Insecure’s entry into the TV-Universe, I felt disconnected from TV characters. They never had the same flaws and idiosyncrasies that I embodied.

Growing Up As a TV-Sitcom Fanatic

As a child, I was a TV-sitcom fanatic. Saved By The Bell, Clarissa Explains It All, Family Matters, Step By Step, Moesha, Parkers, and Cosby Show were some of my favorites. While I appreciated the characters, I didn’t feel that they truly represented my unique level of awkwardness. I wasn’t as fashion-forward and popular as Lisa Turtle on Saved By The Bell. Clarissa was as smart as me, but she embodied a level of confidence that I could only aspire to be on Clarissa Explains It All. Laura Winslow and Moesha were the ultimate triple-threat characters on Family Matters and Moesha, respectively: smart and popular and assertive. The bonus was that they had boys swooning over them. I was smart, but I was unpopular and rather timid in elementary school. Boys were not checking for me in middle and high school.

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Where Ya Been?!

Hi S&T Readers! I know it’s been a minute since I dropped a blog post. Life has been life-ing and work has been work-ing. But if you were wondering, I am still breathing! Here’s what else I’ve been doing since my last post in December 2019.

I’ve been in the house.

Literally.

That’s it.

That’s the post.

Just kidding.

Read on.

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Insecure Recap Season 4 Episode 2

Hi Friends! I know it’s been about 4 months since my last post. Work has kept me busy! More to come on that. I was trying to figure out the next post, but it dawned on me. Why not begin recapping my favorite television show, Insecure? I already irritate my friends with my constant “Have you seen Insecure?” banter, so why not stop the nagging and start the recapping! Here’s my first recap with my thoughts below.

**SPOILER ALERT** If you haven’t watched this episode. Kindly close the window and return when you have. 

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What 2019 Taught Me

2019, how do I say farewell to a year that brought me to the highest of heights and it also brought me down to my knees in prayer? It was a good year, with lots of wins, but it also presented some challenges. Most years have their mix of ups and downs, but 2019 felt a bit more dynamic for me. The ups made me feel on top of the world, while the downs kept me up at night.

Nonetheless, 2019 is a year that taught me a lot. In fact, I believe that this year was a pivotal moment in my professional life, spiritual life, physical/wellness journey, and in my personal development journey as well. I’m happy to see 2019 end on a high note, but most importantly I’m ready to march into 2020 with my head held high, ready to grasp whatever life throws at me.

Without further adieu, here are the lessons that 2019 taught me.

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Untraditional College Advice for Incoming Freshman

I was a dud in college.

I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

My college was located in a city 30 minutes away from my parents’ house. I stayed on campus to get the “true college experience,” but I often went home during the weekends and even during the week to attend family events or attend my childhood church.

Given that my parents’ lived within a 30-mile radius of my college campus, I did not need to stay on-campus. I could have stayed at my parents’ house and carpooled to campus with Mom each morning since she worked a mere 10 minutes away from my college.

My church was 15 minutes away. Church kept me busy between Sunday service, mid-week service, and “College Night” on Fridays.

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When It All Falls Down

In 2010, I was on top of the world.

New job, a new luxury apartment downtown, brand new car, the attention and admiration of my inner and outer circle. I just celebrated my 25th birthday on a beautiful beach. After 4 years of college and 2 years of graduate school, I finally graduated from student-dom and had entered adulthood. My job was everything I thought I wanted. I traveled for work and I even traveled on weekends. I was living the life of my dreams.

And 10 months later, it was taken away from me. It was taken from me in a matter of minutes. I lost my job. I lost my glamorous apartment. I lost the admiration of my friends and relatives. I lost the pride and confidence that I had in myself. I lost the freedom that I embraced being 550 miles from home. I returned back home, with no job and little money. I was no longer on top of the world. In fact, I thought the world was against me.Read More »

Lying with Truth

One of my earliest childhood memories occurred on a playground in summer camp. I was playing kickball and peed on myself at 2nd base.

I was 8 years old, so I knew better.

I didn’t do it because I was engrossed in the game.

I didn’t do it because I had a bladder disorder.

I didn’t do it because I was vying for attention.

I did it because I was shy.

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Where The Heck Have You Been?!

Hi, S&T! Remember me??

It’s been 6 months since my last post. Apologies for going radio silence on you. I have so many new ideas for posts, but I just couldn’t come back after ghosting you and say, TA-DA New Post! without at least explaining where the heck I’ve been in the past 196 days. So, here goes a list of things I’ve been doing instead of updating my blog. And some other random epiphanies I’ve had along the way.

I’ve moved into a new place.

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How I Coped With The Torture Of A 4-Year Long Distance Relationship

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people who are experiencing good fortune in life claim that they knew exactly how it happened.

You’ve met them. They have the perfect job with the perfect boyfriend and the perfect home. They’ll boastfully tell you how they did it. They’ll tell you how they earned a bachelor’s degree in finance. Then, they completed an internship at Eli and Lilly.  Since they were the “best intern,” they were offered a full-time job as an analyst. “All you gotta do,” they say, “is network and get a great internship.”

They have the same attitude about how they got a man. “Wear pink lipstick and red nail polish,” they say. Men love that.”

They have all the answers. Meanwhile, you’re over here networking and applying to thousands of internships and nothing happens. You’re working a minimum wage job with laughable benefits, a degree that you have no clue what to do with, and a boyfriend who hasn’t worked in 4 years. Read More »

When 32 Feels Like The New 62 and Other Ways I Know I’m Getting “Old”

I had a ball in my twenties. I was adventure-seeking, fun, and lived by the motto, YOLO.  I was always down for a good party.

On Fridays evenings, I’d come home from work around 6, take a 3 hour nap, and call a friend 9pm to decide where to go. By 11pm, I’d dressed in the jazziest outfit and the highest heels and ready to head out for a night on the town in Atlanta. I’d return at 6am – sometimes later – after a night on the town.

Those days – although 6 years ago – feel like a century ago. My life is different now.

First, I no longer live in the booming party-centric city of Atlanta. I live in a small town in North Carolina. Going out requires some creativity and meticulous planning. But what’s changed the most is me.Read More »

OOPS! I Did It Again

When I hit the publish button for S&T 7 years ago, I had no idea that I’d meet such a charming blogging community, make new friends, and be nominated for TWO blog awards! In December, Pages of Paige nominated me for the Liebster Award. Last month,  Drifyness and Talking with Tati both nominated me for the Sunshine Blog Award.

Thank you, C!

Thank you, Tati!

I am particularly inspired by C and Tati’s blogs, so an award coming from them means a lot to me. If you haven’t already, check them out! You’ll love them too.Read More »

My Abuser

Photo Title

No man will ever love or marry you. There is something wrong with you that’s why you’re STILL single. You’re not smart enough or pretty enough. Look at that stomach, you need to lose that gut. You don’t dress nice enough. Look at you… a hot mess. You don’t deserve to be happy. Your hair is ugly in its natural state; I don’t know why you don’t perm it. You’re not competent in the workplace that’s why haven’t landed your dream job. You’ll never achieve your goals.  You’re unintelligent, incompetent, and critical; I don’t know what your friends see in you.Read More »

I’d Rather Talk About My Sex Life

It’s not every day that I talk about my sex life. I’m a pretty private person. In spite of that, there is one thing that makes me more uncomfortable than sharing what I do in the bedroom.

What’s that thing, you ask?

My salary.

When my friends were kissing and telling, I’d stay quiet. I love watching shows like Girls and Insecure that depict carefree relationships among friends who share everything, including the intimate details of their relationships. But for me, questions like, “How was your first sex?” feel invasive.Read More »

My Husband Was Not What I Wanted

Do you ever look at your significant other and think, “How did I ever fall for you?”

I do.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and I have my moments where this thought crosses my mind. Now, don’t get it twisted. I love him and all, but it amazes me how different he is from what I thought I wanted in a man. He differs from the qualities I had itemized on my list.

You know, the list. The list women make of qualities they want in a man. I started my list at age 16. Then, added to it as I got older.

By the time I was 27, my list looked like this:

Purple Brush Strokes Packing List

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StereoTrippin!

HER: (Sigh) I am tired. I don’t think I’ll make it out to the club with the crew tonight.

ME: I hear you. I have to be at work at 8:00am tomorrow, and it is an hour commute to my job in traffic, so I probably won’t make it either. Plus, I don’t really like clubs.

HER: Yeah, me neither. I am getting old. I’m 45, but you’re young. You should go out.

ME: I went out a lot when I was in college. Now, I don’t really like hip-hop clubs. When I go out, I prefer to listen to reggae and African music.Read More »

Damn Girl. Get Your Shit Together

Valentine’s Day is over, but today, I have a treat for you.

Last month, Paige of The Pages of Paige, and I had a strategy and brainstorming conversation on how we can grow our readership and reach our blogging goals. Through our conversation, we noticed one thing we had in common. We both loved tuning into the blog, Damn Girl Get Your Shit Together each Thursday and reading unsolicited advice for shit that we didn’t even know we were doing wrong. We were impressed by her style and growing community and wanted to know how she did it.

Damn Girl Get Your Shit Together (DGGYST) is a lifestyle blog with content on everything from beauty hacks, money, health, and relationships. Within the first couple of sentences of reading one of her posts, you will be hooked. She’ll have you cackling in your office cubicle, nodding your head in agreement, or pausing to re-evaluate your life. She’s insightful, funny, and her tell-it-like-it-is approach to her posts makes her blog engaging.

Oh, and did I mention that this chick was kicking ass and taking names?

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