Today is my birthday! And what better way to start my 33rd year on this planet than by writing a new post talking about all the lessons I’ve learned. A word of caution: I’m not proud of everything in this post, but as long as it resulted in a lesson learned. It’s all good, right?
Success is correlated with your confidence (not always your competence).
We’ve all looked at someone in power and thought to ourselves, how did they get this position? They are not qualified. People in high positions – presidents, VP, CEO, general managers – have varying levels of education, experience, and temperaments, but one of the attributes they have in common is their confidence. They may not always be qualified for their position, but they do an excellent job pretending like they are. So, people submit to their authority.
I am a life-long learner, so I’ll always stay committed to learning new things and acquiring new skills, but one of the things I’m going to focus more on is increasing my confidence. I’m smart and experienced but often doubt my abilities. That doesn’t do me any good and it’s something I plan to work on this year.
Self-confidence starts with self-care (and good underwear).
I have not purchased a new bra in the last 3 years. In fact, my bra was getting so worn out that the underwire came loose and caused a minor scratch under my breasts. It hurt! But it taught me a very important lesson. Self-care is crucial.
Now, I know the whole purpose of S&T is to promote self-care and self-love, but if your life is anything like mine, then when things get busy, the first thing that is removed from your list of things to do is self-care.
But if I’m committed to building self-confidence, then I must be committed to my self-care routines. It looks different for everyone, but for me, it’s purchasing a new bra every 6 months, exercising daily, keeping appointments with an esthetician, and consistently updating my blog. These things seem minor, but they work wonders for my self-confidence.
Quality over quantity,
On previous birthdays, I valued the number of people that would show up to my parties more than who came to my parties. Nowadays, I focus on increasing the quality of my relationships than increasing the number of friends I have. A few good friends are all the company you need.
Keep a clever comeback in your back pocket.
People say the darndest things! They’ll point out your flaws and provide unnecessary feedback. They’ll tell you when to buy furniture and where to put it. I often ignore or laugh it off, but have learned that such responses aren’t always effective. You just got put them in their place with a clever comeback. Nice women finish last.
Stop planning and do it already.
I’m a big planner, but sometimes I forget that plans with action are ineffective. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been planning to make things happen, and at 33, I’m going to give myself permission to MAKE IT HAPPEN. Planning is ongoing and can occur while we’re doing. Planning and execution are better together.
Emotional intelligence is underrated.
I’d argue that emotional intelligence is more significant than being book smart. I see it in the workplace all the time. It’s the people who are self-aware and have insight on how to approach and relate to people that get the best results, not the people who had the highest GPA in school. I can’t tell you how annoyed I get with people who don’t know (or don’t care) about how their words and actions affect others. Being braggadocious, abrasive, ungrateful and condescending is not going to make people like you. It may also lessen the amount of influence you can have on others.
So S&T, what lessons have you learned this year at your age? Let’s chat in the comment section below!