My First Boyfriend

I had my first “boyfriend” in kindergarten. I’ve place boyfriend in quotation marks here because I chuckle at how simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships were in my childhood days. Feelings and commitment were foreign to me. My peers and I changed our boyfriends like we changes our socks. Boyfriends were only something we had in order to have something to talk about on the playground during recess.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” my classmate asked me one day on the playground. “No,” I said, “do you?”

Of course, my classmate responded as if I were an idiot to ask. I was a shy five year-old, but wondered to myself how I too can get a boyfriend. I started thinking about all the boys in my class. This one particular boy named, Carl, sat next to me in class. He was always so nice to me. He’d share his crayons with me in class and offer to help me with my arts in crafts. I liked Carl. He could be my boyfriend.

I didn’t know how to approach the topic of him asking me to be my boyfriend. I did not know how such conversations started so I did what any girl would do.

In class one day, while we were gathering our things to leave for the day. I looked at him and said, “You are my boyfriend.”

“What?” He asked, a bit stunned at my statement.

“You are my boyfriend.” I said again.

The bell rang before he could respond, so he left the classroom without answering me. I went home and told my mom. She laughed and said, “I don’t think that is how it works. Plus, you’re too young for a boyfriend.”

The next day my classmate told me that she dumped her boyfriend. She provided some long story about why they broke up; her explanation was a bit too mature for my little ears. I wanted to fit in so I responded, “Yeah, I dumped my boyfriend too!”

And just like that, I dumped my first boyfriend.

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