Tag: relationships

Celebrate You

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Man Surprising Woman with GiftI was once involved with a man who did not understand why I made such a huge fuss about my birthday. “It’s just another day,” he’d say to me, as I’d look for the perfect restaurant to hold a dinner party; the perfect dress to wear at the perfect dinner party; and the accessories to complement perfection.

As my special day drew closer, I’d say to him, “What are you getting me for my birthday?” He’d never respond, but somehow, I managed to convince myself that he’d do something special for me on my birthday.  Three years is how long we had known each other and I knew that the length of time that I had known him guaranteed that I would receive a birthday present from him. On my day of birth, he sent me a Skype message that read, “Happy Birthday.” I did not respond. Birthday wishes brought to me via Skype instant messenger could not be my birthday present. He knows how much I appreciate phone calls from my friends. And he was my best friend.Read More »

For The Man Who Says He’s Not Intimidated (Part 2)

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I really hate when women say guys are intimidated because none are. What we are at times is deeply overawed & impressed by your degrees, attitude, classiness, and achievements. What we are at times is fearful that you’ll be the stereotypical feminist/ I cant wait to out perform a man…as if there was a competition. What we really fear is that while you’ve accomplished things like good credit, career, degrees, and a home that you’ll still miserably fail to respect me as a man.

– Male S&T Reader

 

For The Man Who Says He’s Not Intimidated (Part I) inspired an incredible discussion in my comment section. Thank you to all those who commented. I have not forgotten you. In fact, my plan is respond to your comments when I can.

Now on to the purpose of Part 2. I wanted to discuss this in Part 1, but I did not want to elongate the post or depart from my initial message.

What I failed to tell you is that one year following the guy and my last date, he sent me a text message. We hadn’t been in contact previously, so it was a bit of a surprise for me to hear from him. The first text was pretty simple; he just wanted to know how I was doing. But the second text, where he told me how he was doing, put a smile to my face. It read:Read More »

A Funny Double-Blind Date Story

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“Yaa, get dressed and be at my place in an hour. We’re going on a blind double date.”

My homegirl lived 45 minutes away, so I barely had enough time to get dolled up. I grabbed my red overnight suitcase in my closet, threw my cutest clothes in it, brushed my hair, grabbed a toothbrush, and some perfume and ran out the door.

I was getting dressed at her place when my homegirl updated me on our dates, “They’re about 27 and I think they work in accounting and IT. My date and your date are best friends. I met my date on a social networking website, so I haven’t officially met him yet.”

I was excited and nervous at the same time. I knew that the evening would end up being a funny story. I climbed in my homegirl’s car and we drove to meet the guys at a restaurant about 5 minutes away. “Hurry, Yaa,” she said as we rushing out the door, “They’re already there.”Read More »

He Pays/She Pays: A Recovering Independent Woman’s View on Going 50/50

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When he said he wanted to go 50/50, I knew that this would be the last time I’d ever see him again. – A Girl Friend

If she had said this to me two years ago, I would not have hesitated to challenge her with an eloquent argument about how going 50/50 is the best way to handle dating and relationships in general. In those days, I believed that Independent Woman should rise together and send men the message that we don’t need them. We can take care of ourselves. Slowly, I am recovering from this wayward way of thinking, so when she uttered these words, I simply nodded in agreement.

Like anything else in my life, I had to undergo a few tough experiences before I transformed my way of thinking. Although there may have been dozens of other situations that may occurred in my life that helped me re-evaluate whether to go dutch, these three scenarios listed below are the ones that are most memorable.

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Where He Took Me For Our First Date (A Restaurant Review)

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Mimosas, Biscuits & Jam
Mimosa, Biscuits & Jam

Two weeks ago, I solicited your advice about which restaurant to choose for my first date with a guy. After much contemplation, I decided to go with a restaurant in the Low-Key-Yet-Nice-Vibes category. I selected Park’s Edge for brunch on a Saturday afternoon.

He picked me up at 12:30pm and we arrived at Park’s Edge at around 1:30pm. Yelp reviews advised that a reservation should be made for brunch on Saturday and Sundays, as they tend to get quite busy on the weekends, so a reservation was made for 1:30.

We arrived on time and surprised ourselves at how successful we were at finding street parking at a building that offered limited parking options. Park’s Edge is located in a residential area, which makes it difficult to find. Fortunately, management noticed this fact and are in the process of relocating to a new location. Read More »

A Man’s New Pick-Up Line

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OK, men, I get it. Her beauty puts you at a loss for words. Her presence may even put you on edge: you stutter when you’re suppose to talk smoothly. You stare when you’re supposed to smile cooly. You offer a girly giggle when you’re suppose to flash one of your mysterious smirks.  You are nervous when that beautiful woman crosses your path. But why does that anxiety make a woman regret giving you a millisecond of their time? Let me explain.Read More »

Conversation With The Ex

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ConversationWithEx - PhotoHim: Hi, How are you?

What You Want To Say: What in the world do you want? Oh Gosh, I’ve been thinking about you all day. Is that why you just texted me right now? Happens all the time. I thought about you and now you’re texting me. Dang it!

What You Really Say: Hi, I am fabulous! How are you?

Him: I’m doing great. How’s life? How’s your family? Work?

What You Want To Say: You have no business knowing what I’m doing in my life anymore. Stop acting like you care, because if you cared, we’d be together right now.Read More »

Free Write Friday #1 – Valentine’s Day Reflections

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ValentinesDay Reflections Main Image

I live my life according schedules, lists, Google calendars, and starred items in my G-mail inbox. My blog posts are scheduled, social gatherings scheduled, gym time scheduled and each item on my To Do List must be marked completed before I fall asleep each night. Luckily for me, this routine has been the reason I have been successful, but unfortunately, my schedules and lists are a recipe for BURNOUT.

ValentinesDay - Task List

So, a break from the monotony is needed. Today, I’m starting a routine called Free-Write Friday, where I discuss any and everything that’s on my mind. I don’t know how long this will last or if this will even be a weekly thing, but I’m starting now, and we’ll see how this goes.

Here are my random thoughts from Valentine’s Day.

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A Love Story for Valentine’s Day

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Love Story - Main PicValentine’s days in middle school were always fun and interesting.

Girls distributed candy and Valentine cards to everyone they knew. Boys gave their girlfriends chocolate covered hearts and teachers made pitiful attempts to teach a class full of distracted students.

This particular Valentine’s Day started off as nothing special. I received the usual Valentine’s gift from my Mom – a red Guess t-shirt, a Valentine’s day card, a teddy bear, Snickers, Skittles, and a heart shaped balloon. My hands were pretty full, but these were the typical presents I usually received from Mom on Valentine’s Day.

I arrived at school at my normal time, greeted my girl friends as usual, and exchanged presents with them. This was the normal routine for a Valentine’s Day in middle school. Nothing special.

In fact, nothing special occurred until lunchtime. In middle school, all things interesting occurred during lunch time.Read More »

Single Ladies’ Guide for Getting a Date for Valentine’s Day

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Single Ladies' Guide - Be Mine Photo

Many single women around the globe are quietly thinking to themselves, “Now, how will I find a date for Valentine’s Day?” Look no further; S&T’s has the formula for attracting the man you want.

Ready?

Here it is:

LISTEN.

“What?” You’re asking.

LISTEN to him while he speaks to you.

 You’re puzzled, I know.

Let me show you what I’m talking about.Read More »

Love Letter

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dreamstimecomp_23697179

Dear Yaa,

You are an awesome woman. I admire your ability to give of yourself – time, resources, listening ear, advice, sympathy, support – to others freely. I admire your ability to write. Your blog is outstanding. Your ideas are creative and your style of writing is unique. I appreciate your gift. I love that you want to grow. I admire that you want to have a healthy, fulfilling, relationship with a man one day. And I know he’ll appear in your life soon. When you see him,  you will appreciate him because he is everything you hoped for.Read More »

A Childhood Story About Heartbreak

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A Woman's First Heartbreak
blog.tenbit.pl

When I am faced with hardships, I let my mind wander to previous setbacks in my life, where I thought my life was going to end.  A slight smile creeps across my face when my mind lands on the time a boy broke my heart, by humiliating me in front of my classmates in middle school. When it happened, I was devastated; I thought I’d never recover. Now, 15 years later, I laugh at the story. How silly was I to be so distraught over a silly remark from a boy.

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